b3ta.com user bumberclark
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» Pubs

Beer and Evangelism...
It was 44C outside, and I had slunk into my local with a few workmates after a gruelling 9 hour shift (call centre work doth breed the alcoholic). I was just getting close and personal with my ice-cold beer, when I was forced to sidle along the bench to accomodate a woman who strongly resembled the possible lovechild of Keith Richards and Kathy Bates' character in 'Misery'. She smelled a little like mothballs with a hint of garlic.

I managed to ignore her for a few minutes, until she leaned in and asked our table very politely and even demurely "excuse me, do you mind if I pray?"

We were a little taken aback, but how do you refuse that sort of request? Surely a refusal of that nature skates dangerously close to religious intolerance? Well, tolerant open-minded metropolitan young things that we are, we replied, albeit hesitantly, "go ahead."

She then proceeded to wail, rocking back and forth on her chair, and screeching out the mantra "Oooooh forgive me for the terrible thoughts I have in my head...oooooh forgive me for the terrible ideas I have in my head!!" interspersed with bouts of near-wretching. She repeated this for about 10 minutes until security got rid of her, but not before she grabbed my hand and whispered intensely "it's not too late to get rid of them all, you know!!"

So much for a quiet trip to the pub.
(Fri 6th Feb 2009, 9:18, More)