» Job Interviews

Not strictly interview related but a genuine tale....
In the last few weeks of our OND back in 1990 those that were going to find a job, rather than dossing around at another college doing an HNC, started preparing CVs to send out to prospective employers. I was sorted as I was off to write Paradox apps. at the company where'd I'd had work experience but one mate was not so fortunate. He had typed up his CV & was ready to print out several copies on the 'posh' daisywheel printer but had to leave his PC unattended for a bit. I thought I'd add a humourous addition to his CV and under the 'Personal Interests' along with home computing, socialising and the other bullshit that gets lumped in that section I hastily added 'Wanking in public' and slinked off back to my own desk. I said and heard nothing and it was only after several got posted off to local companies looking for trainee / junior programmers that he must have read it and was horrified to find out my special amendment. Funnily enough one company did reply & sent the CV back to him with the 'Wanking in public' highlighted and the comments 'We would you to come and give us a display of this' written beside it.... Fortunately he did see the funny side and it's not done him any harm as he's doing very well indeed writing software...
(Fri 21st Jan 2005, 13:03, More)

» My Worst Date

Mopeds, benefit fraud and fights
Before the current trend for internet dating sites was, well, a trend I tried my luck at the 'local paper' lonely hearts lottery, what a fucking mistake.

Date number one sounded 'ok' on t'phone (don't they all) but arrived at a mutually agreed pub on a fucking moped :( Now this was back in the mid-late 90's so no funky scooters or even a cool / retro Lambretta or Piaggio. This was a Honda Cub, like my Grandad used to ride. That set the tone for a very dull evening (from what I remember she liked sci-fi and rock music - the ultimate turn off for me) thus I ended the date with a 'I'll be in touch' and ended up contemplating my dating future over sausage and chips on Mousehold Heath in Norwich ....

Number two lived in a fairly awful part of Norwich ( as I later found out) in a council flat. Again, she sounded ok, if rather keen, on the phone but I thought I'd throw caution to the wind and meet her at her flat. I was greeted by her stoned brother who, all the while I was there (not long, as you will find out), sat in the corner of the lounge and heavily petted his laydee. Then, shortly after being made a coffee, my date's son appeared! This did indeed cause me to raise an eyebrow as she'd not mentioned him in our previous conversations. And finally, just to add to the surreality of it all, two old bill turned up and proceeded to question her about benefit fraud! I kid you not! In true tabloid reporter stylee, I made my excuses and left...

Number 3 was met in a pub in the middle of no-where in deepest, darkest Suffolk. Conversation was bit hard until she uttered the gem 'I'd really like to see a fight in a night club' There's not a lot you can say to that, apart from 'Well, it's been an experience, I'll call you'....

It's enough to put a man off dating for life!
(Sat 23rd Oct 2004, 22:39, More)