b3ta.com user mutley
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lurkitty lurk.

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Best answers to questions:

» Shoddy Presents

When I
was about 3, we had one of those Father Christmas clones come to our playschool. I had sent my letter only a few days earlier (in my house we used to burn the letter in the fireplace, and all the little sparks going up the chimney were fairies taking the note to Father Christmas. Was it just my Mum and Dad being cheap, or did anyone else's parents do this?) and asked for a train set, toy guns etcetc.

I got a book

"The Magic Porridge Pot"

So I punched Father Christmas as hard as I could on the nose, in front of all the other kids and Mums. My Mum was dead embarrassed. Serves him right though. Git.
(Thu 23rd Sep 2004, 12:35, More)

» Dumb things you've done

Boom.
When I was a kid, about 10 or so, I took a day off school, playing sick.
We had coal fires in the house and I was a right little pyromaniac. The fire had died down, my parents were out and I knew there was a can of petrol in the shed at the bottom of the garden.
I got a empty milk bottle, filled it with petrol and poured it on the still glowing embers of the fire.
The petrol vapourised and filled up the hearth with what looked like white smoke.
I should have fucked the whole idea off at this point, but I didn't. I stood six foot back and chucked a lit match at the fire.

The kitchen exploded and I got into loads of trouble. Looked cool though...
(Fri 21st Dec 2007, 13:37, More)

» World's Most Hated Food

Semolina and rice pudding.
Looks like spunk vomit. Makes me puke. Stirring jam into it just makes it look like spunk vomit with period, so stop doing it.
(Mon 12th Jul 2004, 12:20, More)

» Slang Survey

Brewstered,
comes from Brewster's Millions, with ace drunkard and crackhead Richard Pryor, meaning rich as fuck. "I'll get 'em in I'm Brewstered".
(Wed 4th Feb 2004, 9:25, More)