b3ta.com user danglesmurf
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» Helicopter Parents

possible helicopter sister?
My boy and my girl were at the local kid soft play area. The boy was getting a bit of grief from another couple of older kids. so he came to chat to me about it. He told me they were picking on him. My girl, who has had similar problems gave him the same advice i gave her. " punch them back, dont let them be mean"

So i think nice work mini danglesmurfette.

Until i look over. the kids (2 of them, both older mind) start on my boy. he belts one a cracker on the face. the other one throws my boy to the ground, and they start kicking him on the floor. Now im not the best tempered person ever, so this set me off. I ran over, ready to kung fu the 2 kids, when, like a ninja, my girl appeared from nowhere, king hit the first one so hard he dropped, then kicked the other one square in the nuts. she then made sure her brother was alright, before melting back into the background...

no wonder she has been getting detention recently. (She had a problem with bullies, and she tells me she battered the bullies. i didnt think anything of the battered bit until i saw this happen heh)

Helicopter sibling? or psycho? i think a bit of both.

Oh and the other two kids? went off crying to their dad. he looked ready for trouble until one of the other parents mentioned her kids were being bullied. A stern fuck off from me, a withering look from the yummy mummy, and they all left. result.
(Wed 16th Sep 2009, 6:07, More)

» Helicopter Parents

Fathers day
in Australia this year. I went into school with my 5 year old boy for an activity day, as i am sure many other dads did. we were to bring in cardboard boxes, toilet rolls etc and have a fun couple of hours building stuff.

I turn up with my boy and some materials. We head into class. Where already there is a pre assembled robot suit, a castle, a space ship, some other equally impressive bits and bobs, and, the crown jewel, a full on cardboard car, big enough for two, with wheels and everything.

The children all sat round as proud dads added the finishing touches to there pre built, pre painted masterpieces. Really, some were allowed to draw on paper, so they could attach the pictures after dad left.

My Son and I were the only ones building from scratch. We built a dinosaur, a spider, a scorpion and a robot. I helped with the cutting and the sticking. he did everything else. he told me what he wanted, drew the plans (these were awesome, i wish i had kept them, they didnt look a thing like the finished products) and basically did everything else. he even made me colour in something while he attached buttons to the robot.

First prize went to the car, which was admitedly a masterpiece.
Second? My Boy. For his, and i quote, "obvious talent and enthusiasm in building more than anyone else that day"

I honestly thought it was supposed to be a fun day of activities. i was wrong.

Points have to go to all the dads though for actually turning up. not a single kid in class was on their own. But still...
(Tue 15th Sep 2009, 7:34, More)

» Conspiracy theory nutters

Channel Ten and Coke.
I was on the bus with my missus. Its never boring with her, she is a very attractive young lady, but for some reason seems to attract the strangest of people to her.

Anyway, we sat near the back, and a gentleman, a fairly normal looking, regular guy, got on behind us. he was carrying a large sports bag. We heard the zip go, and my missus felt a tap on her shoulder. "Excuse me young lady, have a can of coke" i looked round, and he was indeed offering her a can of coke. From his sports bag which was full of...cans of coke. Regular coke. (not diet). She said no thank you, and mentioned that he was a bit of a fan of the stuff. His reply is still with me today. "i hate the stuff. but its the only thing stopping Channel ten (tv station in oz) reading my mind and broadcasting what im thinking on the news..."

My lovely lady immediatly faced front, rolling her eyes. i couldnt help myself though. I asked why. He believed the sugar content fuzzed up the signals. He offered me a can, i said no, unless he had any diet coke (im not a fatty, i just prefer the taste). He looked at me in disguest. "Not enought suger, i reckon they will be broadcasting your mind next"...

He got off the next stop. I have seen him on buses often enough until recently. I think Channel ten have managed to unscramble his thoughts...
(Wed 2nd Sep 2009, 3:35, More)

» I'm going to Hell...

was reminded of this gem..
i happened to be a wee bit drunk. went out with a couple of friends from work, one of which was a lovely lady who happend to be in a wheelchair, electric, as she had mangled hands too.

Anyway, a couple of drinks turned into a massive session, as usually happens. This particular lady cant really handle her drink, a couple glasses of wine usually has her racing home at top speed of about 5mph, weaving in and out of pedestrians. its actually quite the sight to behold, as she plows through people. but back to why im hellbound.

So i decided to get her smashed. just because i thought it was quite amusing. I made her dance with me. you havent lived until you have danced with someone in a wheelchair. its amazing. it would be similar to dancing with davros.

So that in itself is bad enough, and actually had a couple of paople remark to my friends about how nice i was dancing with her, until they mentioned it was only because i found it funny i was doing it. But my favorite bit was passing her cigarette after cigarette. Not because she was a chain smoker, but because of her hands, she couldnt hold onto a smoke properly at the best of times, never mind when she is hammered. Why is this amusing? imagine her trying to knock lit cigarettes off her lap with said hands, and then imagine me pissing myself laughing on the dancefloor at her while she flails at her lap...

Thats pretty bad actually. now i feel bad. ill get over it though..
(Mon 15th Dec 2008, 23:25, More)

» Conspiracy theory nutters

ever noticed how in lifts, the 9 is either directly about or below the 11???? Lift manufacturers are all terrorists...

The fact that there is only one monopoly commission?

My favorite... Stephen hawkins is not intellegent, he has been programmed that way by Bill Gates...
(Wed 2nd Sep 2009, 3:40, More)
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