» Overheard secrets

Camp (not that sort) fire tales
I retired to my tent one night at a bike rally (basically an excuse for a weekend-long piss-up, and not needing to drive home until you sober up some time Sunday) and tried to get some kip. In a nearby tent the familiar getting-to-know-you sounds started up, with much giggling followed by much grunting, followed by an almighty ripping sound. While I was thinking 'well, she isn't a virgin any more' I heard a male voice saying 'How am I going to tell your brother I ripped his tent while I was fucking his sister?'

Don't you just hate it when that happens?
(Fri 26th Aug 2011, 11:50, More)

» Random Acts of Evil

My g/f at the time went to see a friend in Bristol.
She parked her m/cycle outside his flat overnight. The next morning she was a little annoyed that someone had taken all the indicator lenses off the lights, (I can't remember if they stole the bulbs as well) but, as she had a long way to go (back to Bucks) set off out of the city. As she was coming to a junction at the bottom of a hill, she then discovered that the jokers had not only disconnected the rear brake, but also loosened the rear wheel axle. She 'stepped off' the bike smartish, before it could hit oncoming traffic and phoned me. I had to ride all the way there to pick her up. The bike was not worth repairing, so was left in her friends garden (after I towed it back there). It may still be there for all I know.
No way of telling who did it or why. Not a good day.
(Tue 21st Feb 2012, 12:03, More)

» Rubbish Towns

South Oxhey
Sort-of suburb of Watford.
built in the 1940s to house soldiers and such after the war. They had to build it in such a way that it couldn't be seen by any of the posher neighbours.
The BBC recently described it as 'forlorn' in the blurb for the choir program. I would have complained but then 'we' managed to elect a BNP councillor. I no longer write my full address.

Sorry it's not funny.
(Sun 1st Nov 2009, 2:55, More)

» What nonsense did you believe in as a kid?

One day our TV broke down
While we were waiting for the rental company (D.E.R. if you are interested) to come I innocently asked if I could watch Blue Peter (or somesuch) on next door's TV.
They were an elderly couple and I was told that they had a different sort of TV that didn't have children's programmes on it.

I believed that for years.
(Fri 20th Jan 2012, 13:28, More)

» Near Death Experiences

Missed me!
A few years ago, I was on my way to a m/cycle rally, bike loaded with camping gear.
A few miles from home, I was following a car through a series of 's' bends, when an approaching car in the middle of a group of other cars decides it would be the ideal time to overtake them.
The car in front of me swerves off the road but still manages to get hit by the overtaker, which manages to pull it's right front wheel off.
This car, by now sliding sideways across the road, approaches me. I slam on the brakes but, being totally loaded, skid and fall over.(Broke my mirror.) The car just managed to stop as it touched my helmet.
The (woman) driver was totally p*ssed (about three times over the limit) and was trying to get the car into gear to get away.
I have some photos taken when they were cutting her out of the car.
(Sun 28th Nov 2004, 11:00, More)