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» School Trips

Pyramid Perils & french f**kers
It was one of those Schools Abroad things. The Middle East 'during the calm' 3 week excursion version. Remember that converted car ferry full of kids that sank back in the 80's? That was it. Luckily i was on it the year before, although during an on-board disco, the captain did have to call said entertainment to a close, citing severe rocking and possible sinkage. We were all dancing to The Boxer Beat. I think the stomping was on some sort of resonant frequency type thing. Anyhow, i digress. To get to the point - during the trip, we were taken to the pyramids. Wandering about, i spot a robed desert dweller on horse-back. A fantastic photo opportunity. I whipped out my hi-tech disc-film camera and take a snap just as he looks right at me. Fantastic. However, he then began ranting and holding out his palm. A miffed 13yr old that I was didn't understand. I did, however, understand his intentions when he unsheathed a large machete. Cue me being chased around the big pyramid and Sphinx by a crazed Egyptian, yodelling for my blood. 10 minutes and a full lap of the pyramid later, dodging and screaming, eventually alerted a passing teacher and my bacon was saved. I still have the pic somewhere. If i ever remember to look for it, i'll post it...perhaps.

Talking of knife wielding maniacs, a school trip to france (intentional capitalised omission) a year later saw me and a buddy pitted against another. Apparently, the two women we were trying out our limited french (see previous) on were ladies of the night. We realised this only after their pimp legged us around paris with a blade for the crime of slowing down his trade. A stroke of luck had us bump into our accompanying trip french tutor during the chase (that we very cowardly hid behind) who somehow managed to calm the smelly twat down and send him on his way. No idea what she said, but we loved her thereafter.

france is good for some things though.. a year on, we're back on a different excursion. One full days activity was canoeing down the river Ardeche. Mid-point, it runs through a nudist colony. My buddy and i in the 2-man canoe, having successfully negotiated all manner of ravaging rapids, somehow find ourselves capsizing in the calm waters of this tranquil (but very hairy) haven. The hospitality extended (oo-er missus) to us by two similar aged girls was most welcome.
(Tue 12th Dec 2006, 22:40, More)