» Family Feuds

Civil war
An ex of mine is Basque and two of her uncles got caught up in the Spanish civil war. As happened frequently, one of the brothers was a communist and the other brother was one of Franco's men.
This started the feud of all feuds and they didn't speak for years and years. In fact, during the war they even fought against each other a couple of times. In the end Franco's men won and the communist brother was imprisoned and sentenced to death.
Come the day of the execution his brother risks his life to get him freed. He succeeds but when the grateful brother tried to thank him, he just ignored him and said "I don't talk to communists". They never spoke again.
(Sun 15th Nov 2009, 9:29, More)

» Darwin Awards

Beer immortality
Following on from my "climbing up buildings" shenanigans, lived in Belgium for a bit and came up with the "let's climb one of those massive t-cranes when we're pissed at night" game. That progressed into the "bet you can't walk out on the long bit at the top" game, etc etc. Darwinism in full effect.

But was this enough? Oh no no. We were beer-immortal (similar to beer goggles but causes men to think they are superman) so it became the "bet you can't chat up a girl, get her to go up with you and then shag her up there" game.
Step 1. Check.
Step 2. Check (with a lot of female doubts).
Step 3. FORGET IT YOU MAD NUTTER.
Unanticipated Step 4. How to get a very nervous lady DOWN a massive t-crane.

So, not only was I actively trying to remove my genes from the pool, I was also attempting to sow my seed and then kill the potential future mother of my offspring! Now THAT's Darwinism :)
(Tue 17th Feb 2009, 11:45, More)

» Darwin Awards

Luck luck luck luck lucky
I used to have a thing about climbing up the outside of buildings for some reason. It's possible that alcohol was involved. Anyway, there we are in a boring party on the second floor of some block of flats when my friend decides it would be a good idea to exit via the windows and do a spot of urban rock climbing.
So, I'm going along this narrow ledge when I trip a bit and fall backwards. Oh dear, thinks I, this is really going to hurt. It's amazing how your head slows down at these moments.
Luck! I fall backwards into a skip filled with rubbish from a shop, ie empty boxes, tissue paper (i kid you not) and get not a scratch. Then I try to get up and realise something is blocking my right arm. I look over and see a massive piece of jagged glass sticking straight up between my arm and my body. Missed me by millimetres.
This is technically anti-Darwinism I guess.
"Pop" :)
(Tue 17th Feb 2009, 10:39, More)

» The Dark

Bats!
Walking back from a pub in Wales one night with a few mates. It was pitch "can't see your own hand" black so we obviously started winding up one of my friends who was scared of the dark. Running off and screaming for help etc etc.
Then one of my mates REALLY screams and runs off into the night. Then another. By now my mate is freaking out and asking us to stop. Suddenly, one of the girls gets something tangled in her hair causing her to scream like a banshee and run off into the darkness. Cue all of us running across the fields screaming, leaving my poor mate begging us to stop. His screams in the distance as he got attacked and pleading to be saved were a thing to behold. We realised that it was just a few bats getting confused when we calmed down a bit but my mate wouldn't go out after dark for the rest of the trip :)
(Fri 24th Jul 2009, 10:38, More)