b3ta.com user MrSnoobs
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» Unexpected Nudity

The third choice
Back when we were sweet sixteen, I was wooing my soon to be girlfriend by paying her a visit (as friends of course. That I wanted to bury my face in her crotch was strictly between me, and my right hand). It was all very nice and civilised and when it came to bed time we retired to her room.

Now, the thing is she was in a fairly small house and shared a room with her sister. As there wasn't enough room and we weren't an item at that point, I bedded down on the floor and all three of us lay down and watched some TV together. For whatever reason, both of them started playing with my hair which made me rather excited. I should point out at this point that up until then I was almost entirely sexually inexperienced so having my hair tussled sensuously was akin to being shagged by a dozen clones of Megan Fox at the same time.

Which one shall I go for, thought I, as Red Dwarf played on the TV in front of us. I wonder which of these two girls will be the first to show me her holiest of holies. Just then, their mum came in to say good night and stepped over the bedding arrangement to give her first-born a hug. The trouble was that she was wearing her dressing gown. With nothing underneath, giving me an astride view of her pudenda from less than a metre away, meaning that I saw my subsequent girlfriend's mum's minge before I saw hers (which, to my credit, I got in to not a few days later. Huzzah!).

*POP*, btw.
(Sun 31st May 2009, 23:12, More)

» Crappy relationships

I can pin the moment the magic was finally gone
Preparing for the summer weather, with bikinis and what not, my ex was waxing her nethers. She wasn't quite able to get the angle right for the more extreme aspects of her clefts so with a harumph, she tossed me a wax strip, spread her cheeks and said "could you do this bit for me; I can't reach".

Being comfortable is one thing, but I fear that was too much.
(Fri 22nd Oct 2010, 5:43, More)

» DIY Techno-hacks

Probably Stolen Laptop Hack
I picked up a dinky laptop for a song off of eBay with the knowledge that it was "broken" and wouldn't boot. It seemed that the BIOS was locked out and there was a system password (which was strange, but I didn't know it) so some swift Google-Fu demonstrated that you would need to short circuit 2 legs of an EEPROM chip on the motherboard in order to reset the ID of the system, and then you could enter a new one sans unknown password.

So, disassembling the beast I propped the bare motherboard up with the monitor panel sticking off of it and fired it up. It took some time, but I found a chip with the right lettering on it which was about 4mm x 2mm. At the right spot I shorted the pins and.... nothing. I'm nothing if not tenacious. I shorted different pins, made sure I was getting it right. Made sure the paper-clip could conduct electricity (discovered it could when I dropped the clip on the motherboard creating a few sparks and angry noises) and was stumped. I tracked down the chip manufacturer's papers and learnt all about the damn thing. I knew what voltages went were and what pins were dead pins with nothing going through it. Four days of study and frustration I sat looking at the board and realised. I was looking at the wrong fucking chip. The right one was under some black plastic. Ole! Shorted the correct pins on the first try - Unlocked laptop! Woo!

Put it together (with some screws to spare - buggered if I knew where they went). Upon boot it became apparent that the laptop was from some company which I imagine the machine was stolen from, but that's another story...
(Sat 22nd Aug 2009, 2:24, More)