» Failed Projects

I have just completed a jigsaw puzzle
It was rather difficult and took me nearly eighteen months to finish. Which is great, as it said 3 - 4 years on the box.
(Tue 8th Dec 2009, 10:02, More)

» Asking people out

Chickens
Apparently farmyard birds find it quite difficult to ask out the opposite sex. As such, I saw a gap in the market and set up a dating agency for chickens. Unfortunately I had to give it up after a while as there was no money in it, and I found it difficult to make hens meet.
(Thu 10th Dec 2009, 12:06, More)

» Presents

I wanna tell you a story...
Does anyone else remember this story from “2000 Acres of Sky”, which was a great TV series from about 2001. It was told by Paul Kaye’s character. For me it sums up what giving Christmas gifts to people you love is all about. I don’t remember it exactly, but it’s something like the following:

A long time ago, there once was a young married couple, who loved each other more than all the world. They were both very poor and made the most of what little they had. Christmas was fast approaching, and they both promised each other that they wouldn’t buy presents (how could they for they had no money?). Despite this, they were both secretly worried about how they might afford to buy the one thing that their loved one really wanted.

Now, the wife had long flowing golden hair. The husband loved everything about her, but he especially loved her hair, and would wash it for her, brush it for her and in summer he would often pick flowers to put in her hair. This made her feel wonderfully special, as she could forget their troubles and poverty for a while as he made her feel like a princess. However, there was one thing she longed for - a pretty hair clip, so that she could put her hair up when she was busy cooking or working around the house. And he wanted to buy her a hair clip more than anything.

The husband’s only possession was a battered old violin. The wife loved everything about him, but she especially loved to hear him play the violin. She loved the look of concentration on his face when he played, she loved to watch him loose himself in his tunes, and she loved more than anything to dance for hours while he played, until they were both so tired that they would collapse and fall asleep in front of the fire in each others arms. Unfortunately however, his violin strings had broken months ago, and their cold little one room cottage had been silent ever since. And she wanted to buy him new violin strings more than anything.

For weeks they could secretly think of nothing else, aside from finding a way to buy the gift they knew their beloved wanted more than anything.

On Christmas day, they both awoke with tremendous excitement, eager to give the other their gifts. Astonished and delighted that they should be receiving anything, they unwrapped their gifts together and at once the tears began to flood down their cheeks. She had somehow bought him new violin strings, and he had bought her the prettiest hair clip she had ever seen.

“How ever could you afford this?” said the wife, wiping away the tears.
“I’m so sorry” he choked, “I sold my violin to buy you the clip. Please forgive me”.
And with that, she took off her head scarf to reveal that her lovely golden hair was gone, and he at once knew that she had cut off her hair and sold it in order to buy his violin strings.

And that to me is the why Christmas is so special. It’s not about the Playstation 3 I would like and will never get, nor about the piles of socks I don’t want and always get. It’s about the look on the faces of my family when they open their presents to find something really special. And that’s all I want for Christmas.
(Fri 27th Nov 2009, 14:21, More)

» Amazing displays of ignorance

Awwww bless...
Playing Trivial P with my parents, my then GF was asked the question "How is a black hole formed?"
She replied with "Is it when a fairy dies?"

Stunned silence from the aged parents, followed by much hilarity at her expense.

I still married the daft bint though.
(Tue 23rd Mar 2010, 16:25, More)

» I don't understand the attraction

Decimals
I've never liked them.

I just can't see the point.
(Wed 21st Oct 2009, 16:41, More)