» Public Sex

not so parthenic now
My Grandfather and Grandmother were asked to cut short their visit up the Acropolis for having sex on the steps.
Another time I was looking through an old album and saw a photo of my Granny snuggled up under a blanket on a flat rock projecting from a sea-side cliff. My Grandfather leans over and says "You see that rock? We had just made love on there."
Unfortunately the adventurous sex gene wasn't passed down to me and I have only earned the standard field, park, churchyard, and club toilet shag-badges.
(Fri 24th Apr 2009, 12:39, More)

» Annoying words and phrases

You couldn't
"You couldn't pass me that paper?"
"You couldn't do me a favour?"

You couldn't just bloody say 'Could you', or even 'Please could you' if you are worried that sounds too forward...
When someone asks with "you couldn't" I just want to say "That's right".
(Fri 9th Apr 2010, 9:12, More)

» Neighbours

My upstairs nieghbour
Within the first week of moving in, we started hearing the couple upstairs shouting at eachother, accompanied by crashing and banging coming through the ceiling. After one particularly vicious sounding argument, I passed the woman in the hallway.
She started going on and on about how if we heard anything, banging etc., don't worry but please don't ask her what it was.
I think she said her name was Luka.
(Thu 1st Oct 2009, 17:20, More)

» I'm your biggest Fan

Classical hero
My partner made us wander around the suburbs of Rome for hours just to go to Via Cicerone. There is nothing interesting there, it is just a small street named after Cicero, in an area of Rome that wouldn't even have existed when Cicero was alive. We had already been to the Curia in the Forum, where my man couldn't stop going on about how Cicero had actually been in there and made so and so speech etc, but we still had to waste some of our brief sightseeing holiday just to take a photo of the sign on the street named after him.
(Fri 17th Apr 2009, 14:58, More)

» Nightclubs

On a business trip
to Monaco, one of the 2 colleagues I was with wanted to impress us. We were there in order to schmooze rich people into investing money in our emerging markets property development company, this was last December so we weren't having much luck. DP, the colleague in question, was a typical snotty London property boy who was a regular at the Monaco grand prix and had a few rich buddies in town that we thought might give us a bob or two.
Apparently during the grand prix, the nightclub in question, Jimmy's, is absolutely rammed, entrance fee is over 100 Euro and drinks are about as much, and you can only get in if you know someone. This was what he said to recommend it to us.
It was already past midnight and I would really rather have gone back to the ludicrously swanky hotel but we ended up going to this club, the three of us plus some of the rich twats we had had dinner with. DP was going on about how amazing this place was, and that 'now we would be able to impress our friends by saying we'd been to Jimmy's'. I didn't bother pointing out that I doubted any of my friends would have heard of Jimmy's, and if they were the kind of person that would be impressed that I had been there, they almost certainly wouldn't be my friends.
So we went in, about 6 of us. The only other people in the club were the staff, who outnumbered us by 100%. It wasn't even a particularly nice club. Not to be deterred, DP and a particularly obnoxious Aussie stockbroker decided to request the DJ play Paradise City and had a dance-off on the large round dancefloor in the centre of the club. By that time one or two other unlucky people had arrived.
Once they had finished and I had sipped the last drop of my 10 Euro can of Sprite, we finally made our way out. DP still saying 'well at least you can say you've been to Jimmy's!' and seeming to think it incredibly rude of me to not be falling about with how impressed I was.
(Wed 8th Apr 2009, 20:50, More)