» Hidden Treasure

Me and my little sister
We were playing behind the shed in our garden and found a mouse. So we picked it up on a plastic spade and went to show our mum.
"Look mum, we've found a really big mouse!"
She promptly screamed at us.
It was a huge rat.
(Thu 30th Jun 2005, 14:13, More)

» When I met the parents

This wasn't the first time we'd met
But I'd gone to watch this guy (who I no longer see) play cricket, with his parents. Coming back from the match, me and him were sat in the back, and I thought his mum had stopped driving. However, she hadn't, and I ended up jumping from a moving vehicle.
It was only going at about 15mph, she'd pulled up to this thing (a ticket machine? I don't remember), I opened the door and stuck my leg out, she accelerated and unfortunately I didn't.
We stopped seeing each other not long after.
(Thu 19th May 2005, 13:44, More)

» Jobsworths

Another tale from the evils of telemarketing
I phoned this one bloke who had in the comments box that he'd been phoned twice and his wife was being an obstructive cow. I got through to her, and this was what happened.
Me: Hello, can I speak to Mr Twunt-for-marrying-a-harpy-like-you?
Her: For God's sake this is the 20th call we've had from you bastards this week!
Me: Actually madam I can tell you its the third.
Her: Well we don't want to talk about our banking with you.
Normally I'd just say "OK madam, thank you for your time" but as she'd sworn at me and I was in a bad mood anyway, I decided to go through the procedure we're meant to.
Me: I'm sorry madam, I can't take your husband's name off the list until he tells me himself that he doesn't want to do the survey.
Cue her deciding to take the phone up to her husband in the bath so he can say "I'm really sorry about this, but I just don't want to do the survey".
I'm one of the twats that give telemarketing a bad name.
(Wed 18th May 2005, 12:45, More)

» How I Skive Off Work

I'm an evil telemarketer
Only to fund drinking through uni.
I've found that it is possible to skip through surveys and fill in the answers yourself, therefore saving valuable time that could be used for phoning people you actually like. Plus it means bonus rate is much easier to achieve, and at the end of a month when the quotas are filling up, its often possible to be sent home early.
Hurrah! More money for less than half the work!

Lizzilla speaks in a solely hypothetical manner when replying to this QOTW. In no way is she saying she has done these things, as that would be fraud
(Wed 27th Apr 2005, 16:18, More)

» Little things that turn you on

bit boring really
but quite normal looking blokes tend to be my type. Also good forearms and back of the neck on blokes are the two things that I really love. Don't even ask me why, but so long as he isn't truly hideous, he laughs at my sense of humour, and his arms and neck are good, I swoon.
(Fri 18th Feb 2005, 14:25, More)