b3ta.com user loverat
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Im an ass.. woooo!

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» Heckles

At a...
Travel Function many years ago.

A Stand-up had already started while i was in the loo and he had just started picking on the audience as i strolled in...

HIM: Just been in the toilet have you?
ME: Yeah.
HIM: Thought so we could hear you.
ME: Well i bet listening to the shit coming outta my arse is better than listening to the shit coming outta your mouth.

Unfortunately i didnt say it loud enough so the front few tables burst into laughter whilst the comedian and all the other tables looked on confused as i walked confidently to my table.
(Sat 8th Apr 2006, 22:43, More)

» Shame

I was on Blind Date.
Yup, no shit, i was the picker too.

Won 3 nights in France with some sorefaced bint.

The shame is ever-present, especially when my mate punctuates every conversation i have with chicks when i'm out with, "d'you know Danny was on Blind Date."

Wanker! (me not him.)
(Thu 24th Nov 2005, 18:35, More)

» Lies Your Parents Told You

My Mom
Told me she loved me :|
(Wed 14th Jan 2004, 15:20, More)

» That's when I knew it was over...

I new it was over when...
At T in the Park she introduced me to some random bloke (read "NOB") behind my back as "her friend,"

bitch :(
(Wed 27th Jul 2005, 2:26, More)

» You're a moviestar baby

Heres graham with a quick reminder..
In 2001 i appeared on Blind Date as a bet when Cilla hosted it and it wasnt that bad.
I was the "picker," Cilla kept pinching my arse and i only got a holiday to bloody France.
Slated the bird tho, tight arse wouldnt get naked for me, oh, was the Christmas edition too and apparently one of ITV's top rated shows that year.

Yay for being a pretty bloke!
(Sun 14th Nov 2004, 20:18, More)
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