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» Money-saving tips
More like: I was broke. But I, at least, found this funny.
So I couldn't get a job. I had run out of money. I had run out of credit cards. One day, I was hungry. I needed some lunch. But there was no food in the house. I had no money. So I raided my girlfriend's small change box, and grabbed a handfull of one and two pence pieces. I was too lazy to actually count it. Looked like maybe just under a quid. Down to the supermarket.
I wandered around, carefully choosing cheap but calorific items like custard cremes. Looked like maybe just under a quids worth. Sweet. I was probably safe. If it was too much stuff, I'd just have to lose the custard cremes. It'd be embarrassing, but at least I'd eat. To the checkout.
"That'll be 93 pence, please."
"Um, okay, here you go." I gave her my handful of change. She gave me a dirty look, but when I am not forthcoming with bigger coins, and act like I actually expect her to accept legal tender in exchange for goods, as is her legal duty to accept, she starts counting. Turned out I had exactly 93 pence worth of pennies!
Checkout girl was much less impressed than myself, and looked like she was considering calling security, going so far as to look around to see if they were in earshot.
(Sat 12th Nov 2011, 3:19, More)
More like: I was broke. But I, at least, found this funny.
So I couldn't get a job. I had run out of money. I had run out of credit cards. One day, I was hungry. I needed some lunch. But there was no food in the house. I had no money. So I raided my girlfriend's small change box, and grabbed a handfull of one and two pence pieces. I was too lazy to actually count it. Looked like maybe just under a quid. Down to the supermarket.
I wandered around, carefully choosing cheap but calorific items like custard cremes. Looked like maybe just under a quids worth. Sweet. I was probably safe. If it was too much stuff, I'd just have to lose the custard cremes. It'd be embarrassing, but at least I'd eat. To the checkout.
"That'll be 93 pence, please."
"Um, okay, here you go." I gave her my handful of change. She gave me a dirty look, but when I am not forthcoming with bigger coins, and act like I actually expect her to accept legal tender in exchange for goods, as is her legal duty to accept, she starts counting. Turned out I had exactly 93 pence worth of pennies!
Checkout girl was much less impressed than myself, and looked like she was considering calling security, going so far as to look around to see if they were in earshot.
(Sat 12th Nov 2011, 3:19, More)
» Real-life slapstick
BMX Track
As a child, I had a BMX. I used to take it down the BMX track near my home. As 16 year old, I was too big for my BMX, but one day I took it down the BMX track anyway, for old times sake. Randomly, there were a couple of cute girls there, who were watching me ride around the track. So I decided to show off.
The start of the track is a big, steep hill. At the bottom of the big steep hill, just as it flattened out, was a jump. I was going to do an awesome big jump. So I caned flat out down the hill, hit the jump, and got serious air. As I landed, the back wheel broke clean off my BMX, and bounced away. The rest of my BMX and I slid to a halt some distance down the track.
Miraculously unharmed, but sans dignity, I recovered my back wheel, put it back on my BMX, and rode straight home.
(Wed 27th Jan 2010, 1:03, More)
BMX Track
As a child, I had a BMX. I used to take it down the BMX track near my home. As 16 year old, I was too big for my BMX, but one day I took it down the BMX track anyway, for old times sake. Randomly, there were a couple of cute girls there, who were watching me ride around the track. So I decided to show off.
The start of the track is a big, steep hill. At the bottom of the big steep hill, just as it flattened out, was a jump. I was going to do an awesome big jump. So I caned flat out down the hill, hit the jump, and got serious air. As I landed, the back wheel broke clean off my BMX, and bounced away. The rest of my BMX and I slid to a halt some distance down the track.
Miraculously unharmed, but sans dignity, I recovered my back wheel, put it back on my BMX, and rode straight home.
(Wed 27th Jan 2010, 1:03, More)