b3ta.com user Daisho
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» IT Support

Mouse stuck in the PC
I got a call from my mother one day saying that the PC in the kitchen was making some strange noises even when it was switched off, so off I went in a heroic IT experty kind of way, got there she said the cats were giving it some queer looks too. Took the case off and there was a mouse running around inside which took off like a greased pig. I absoulutely cacked my self at seeing this, really was'nt expecting that, it must have slipped in through the missing card slot at the back.
The cats nommed it up though.

I've just realised what a crap story that was, still true though.
(Fri 25th Sep 2009, 9:05, More)

» Real-life slapstick

I fell asleep standing up having a piss one night and cracked my teeth on the edge of the pot when I went down which immediately woke me up to the taste of blood and piss.
(Mon 25th Jan 2010, 18:39, More)

» I don't understand the attraction

I will probably get kicked all over for this...
but cats, I just don't get why people love these noisy smelly destructive whining shit machines who love to shove their bullet holes in your face all the time.
(Fri 16th Oct 2009, 10:02, More)

» Real-life slapstick

Hit and Run
I was in the big white transit van type thing once with my boss driving along a narrow one-way street in Corbridge and he managed to twat some poor sod on the back of the head with the side mirror. Sent him arse over tit.
We did'nt stop because we saw him getting up off the ground in the mirror.
I am ashamed to say that I found this really funny. Never laughed so hard since I managed to trick my mate into nutting a brick once, but thats another story.
(Fri 22nd Jan 2010, 17:18, More)

» Rubbish Towns

for it is a shit hole of such magnitude where you can't even pick your nose or have a sly fart without it going in the local rag.
Total dump, glad to have moved.
(Tue 3rd Nov 2009, 19:43, More)
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