b3ta.com user EpeeDemic
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» Helicopter Parents

My ex flatmate
Whilst i was a student of full independence and no brains i lived with a guy who if you ever met him without his mum has an image of hardness, gingerness, chavish-ness, messiness, fatty-ness and just about every-ness possible.

We lived in a very large spacious 3 bedroom flat with a cracking view and it was good to be away from student halls and living privately, for the first 3 days anyway. Untill i realised how messy and inconsistent he was. It was not only is he incapable of normal humanly activities like putting rubish in the bin or washing dishes. He was worse than a cat going through your bins at night, the whole living room was covered in corned beef boxes, rolls, crisps, dishes, cans of coke and socks. It was like ground zero...and this was just after 1 week of staying there.

It turns out ginger has not one but 3 helicopters as parents, his mum, his aunt and gran all live together under the same roof.

Since i stayed with him, his gran comes over every week to do the general house duties of cleaning his mess in the kitchen, living room and bathroom. Which for me was ok...since we had a free house keeper now.

His mum and aunt every week would come along and take him to food shopping in marks and sparks or sainsbury's making sure he eats all the good finist foods. For the whole year he didn't need to pay a single thing and still proceeded to borrow money from the rest us actual poor and skint students. He was even bought alcohol from his mum.

He is 23 and still gets his 72 year old gran to clean his room.

I graduated now but i fear for the next generation.
(Mon 14th Sep 2009, 12:36, More)

» DIY Techno-hacks

Screw you
I currently work as a hardware support engineer doing various piss abouts with laptops and systems. I always have this uncanny ability when opening up laptops for various solder and replacement jobs to have left over screws. It does not matter how hard i try to remember where they all come from it just seems to not fit. I made a newbie sort them all out once in categories of size and length. Must have about 3000 of the buggers lying in various tubs. He earned his 2 pints and a packet of crisp that day.
(Fri 21st Aug 2009, 14:05, More)

» Tramps

The tramp thats not a tramp...he just doesn't believe it!
I have a friend of mines who believes in the world through age old eyes, all the morals of being a gentleman, a decent person, a hard working-elbow-grease kind of person...until he became old enough to leave his mum and become a STUDENT!

When the day came to become a STUDENT for the first week he believed in hygiene, proper food and good language but 4 years down the line...he has become more immoral than a tramp pissing on a brand new bmw with shiney wheels. Nuke food, canned beans and tesco value corned beef became his diet, language that makes even the chavs and neds blink stupidly and his pulling techniques on a saturday night. His morals are sunk lower than the titanic.

"Hey burd! you want a shag!" can be heard bellowed in the local night club full of skanks and chavs boozed up on white lightening and lambrini.

This once morally uncorruptable young man, believes that sitting on a street corner with eyes glazed and jaundiced coloured skin tones begging for spare change is better than working for minimum wage. Whats also most deprived is the fact he believes they are all happy being like that...

I weep for the future of mankind...in scotland in particular.
(Sun 5th Jul 2009, 14:34, More)

» Helicopter Parents

She doesn't know
Back when i was a wee nipper still in velcro shoes and patched jeans and hand-me-down clothing, my mum would always tell me to watch out for cars and don't speak to strangers. Im 25 now and i drink and smoke, had a good few years stint as a officer in the army, work in IT Maintenance and shag just about anything willing to go my way...well only of the female persuasion and she still phones me up every 3 days to tell me them same words. I thought being in the army would help me get away from all that but once the evils of internet emailing has got to her i was finished.
(Fri 11th Sep 2009, 13:26, More)

» DIY Techno-hacks

I once strapped my cordless phone to a 12mp digital sli camera and strapped that onto my sony bravia 32" LCD plasma. That kinda voided the whole mobile telecommunication idea.
(Thu 20th Aug 2009, 13:26, More)
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