b3ta.com user .spanky
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Recent front page messages:

lots of love from Mr and Mrs spanky ;) xxx
'I paid for this leg you slaaag'

(edit - with new improved SPANG)
(Sun 22nd Oct 2006, 20:23, More)

look what he's hiding inside though


crikey. FP! Woo to Fat Boab for the original.
(Mon 15th Dec 2003, 12:09, More)

.

(Mon 13th Oct 2003, 14:44, More)

my first adventure in monochrome


edit: well, I've just looked, and it's not my first adventure in monochrome at all. Fancy that.
(Thu 17th Jul 2003, 18:50, More)

Can't fly is it?

Obligatory egotistical clickie for wallpaper

Woo FP! Wallop! Get In!
(Tue 24th Jun 2003, 13:29, More)

Roll up, roll up! Come and see the amazing Minellephant

(Mon 9th Jun 2003, 12:09, More)

and a prolific lunch hour comes to an end....


hardly a compo entry though. seeing as it's not an adventure per se

"Nurse!! Need hummus!!"
(Tue 27th May 2003, 13:45, More)

He was half way through "Little Wing" before anyone noticed

Don't ask
(Tue 6th May 2003, 14:09, More)

bandwagonning is it? Aaaahh I dinnae cayyre laddie

done before, huh? Ah, knickers to you
(Mon 27th Jan 2003, 15:31, More)

Holy Shit - They're ..... .. re..pro..du..cing.!!!

(Sun 12th Jan 2003, 22:51, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Shit Stories

I once had a shit in a sandwich bag
and threw it at a bus
(Thu 6th May 2004, 10:23, More)

» World's Most Hated Food

Seafood
is shit. No need for an explanation, it's just shit. it smells shit, looks shit and tastes shit, and that makes it shit.

Fresh tuna? bearable, but let's be honest, it's shit isn't it. like tender bacon rind with a fishy tang.
Canned tuna? Catfood. Shit.
Smoked Haddock? fucking stinks out the entire block of flats for days.. it's shit.
Squid? rubbery, tasteless leathery shit.
Ocean pie? hello diarrhoea... That's shit too.
Sushi? looks fantastic... but it tastes shit. And that makes it SHIT
Shellfish (mussels, oysters etc)? fuck off. Who's fucking stupid idea was it to eat those slimy salty smelly things? Cunts, whoever they are. Probably the French.
Shellfish (prawns etc)? Apparently these are best eaten alive. Alive! Bouncing around! Fuck that. Conclusion? also shit.
Caviare? So fucking shit, they had to launch the mother of all price hikes to make people thing it was so exclusive it must be good. Well, I've got news for you, you've been conned by Market Forces. Caviare is shit. it tastes fucking horrible, and no amount of "oh, this was £60 for 100g so it must be good" will convince me. Some people like to spend ludicrous amounts of money on shit things because it makes them feel exclusive. Doesn't stop those things being shit. Enter caviare.

I'll eat virtually anything else though. Some of you lot down there are right fussy bastards. For instance, mayonnaise. Mayonnaise is great. Not on it's own though. If it smells like rotten eggs - that's because it's gone off.
(Mon 12th Jul 2004, 15:20, More)

» Pet Names

If I had a dog
I would call it "Why don't you just fuck off you self-righteous cunt"

no reason.
(Wed 25th Feb 2004, 18:32, More)