b3ta.com user chatsharris
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Shit the bed, a while since I last logged in!

I mostly lurk, but occasionally I'll have a story involving poo that I'll share.

21 year old chap from Plymouth, bit of a petrolhead if I'm brutally honest, it seems to be a bad thing nowadays. As if I'm fucking a seal pup in the ear.

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» Unexpected Nudity

Long time lurker, First time poster (Be gentle...)
This only happened yesterday, so while it's fresh in my head.

As none of you will know, I'm in the Royal Navy. This means I'm used to naked guys and whatnot, whether it was the communal showers, or just good ol' naked pranks.

Anyway, I was just relaxing on my laptop in my cabin, when I get a knock on my door. I open it and my mate Jack is standing there completely naked. At this point I say "Hey JaOhForFucksSake..." and we discuss our plans for the evening as normal. I shut the door and start getting ready.

I get in the en-suite shower, get my soapy soap on and towel off. I wrap the towel around my midriff and start ironing some kit, when I hear a knock on the door.

Thinking it's Jack, and I have a chance to get back at the cockbadger, I take off my towel and open the door expecting to see Jack...

Only to come face to face with Laura (The new girl in the office, who's actually with Jack)


She looked at my manhood, then at me and said: 'I've forgotten what I knocked for.' Then left!

Fair credit to her, she laughed about it the next day and kept it relatively hush-hush.

*Pop* Ew, it's everywhere! :D

Length? It did me proud! ;)
(Mon 1st Jun 2009, 19:54, More)

» The B3TA Confessional

Something I'm actually proud of...
Dear Paul Daniels,

It was me that sent you those death threats five years ago. You were and still are a complete and utter cunt. The Tesco and Mazuma adverts prove it.

I don't regret a fucking thing!
(Thu 26th Aug 2010, 22:27, More)