b3ta.com user professor honky
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» How I Skive Off Work

skive, yet still be the most productive member of staff they have...
erm, i was meant to be on the weekend shift...

i arrived yesterday 15 mins late (noone's in to notice at the weekend) and did some work for a bit. after a while i started to lag as i was tired, so i had a kip for an hour, then carried on as i felt better for it.

by hometime, i realised that even with buying sweets and fizzy pop from the vending machine and browsing ebay, i had still managed to do all of the work for the two days and a little more.

so i did a little dance because i didn't have to go in today and video'd it with my mobile phone...

(Sun 1st May 2005, 16:49, More)

» Being told off as an adult

my girlfriend repeatedly tells me off for doing a 'superman' with the shopping trolley when we're at tescos.

i'm such an embarressment.
(Thu 20th Sep 2007, 17:25, More)

» Shit Stories

poo art
at xmas, i was pretty bored, so i decided to attempt a bit of creativity with poo... this brought the world's attention to pic-arse-o
(Fri 7th May 2004, 11:56, More)

» Breakin' The Law

once upon a time...
I had come back from uni. I went to a friend's house and picked him up and we both decided to go to a communal spot of the kids of that day and have a fag. Upon parking up and sparking up, a mysterious figure appeared at my slightly opened window.

Plod - Hello there chaps, what you up to?

Me - Just smoking a fag...

Plod - (Sniffs) Is that... cannabis i can smell?

Me - (Smirking and generally trying not to laugh at his comedic pronounciation of the word cannabis) No mate, just fags...

He then turned on his handy mag light and looked at the over-filled astray in my clapped out nova, told us that this is where all the druggies hang out (which we also found amusing as it was only our group of friends that hanged out there every night, who never did or saw any people doing drugs there) and promptly walked off.

The fact that my clapped out nova got broke into about a week after that by some druggie, and the police didn't even make an effort with the crime really put the whole thing into perspective, but then... it was only a clapped out nova.
(Fri 9th Jan 2004, 21:39, More)