» Rubbish Towns

Walsall
I've been blessed in my life to live in a variety of some relatively pleasant places, to name a few, Cambridge, Saffron Walden (Essex), Bath, some random town near Guildford e.t.c, e.t.c. However, this is purely because of my family heritage, and my need to get as far away as possible from Middlesborough, the arsehole of the north. Although it is the home of most of my (extended) family, the majority of its human output is, well, shit (my dear old gran doesn't count as she's originally from Yorkshire).

However, upon moving up to the midlands last year, I came across Walsall. And Middlesbrough was forced up into a deft 'second most crap town' on my list. Its not just shit, its the TGOC (google it) kinda shit which has been ingested twice and makes any onlooker vomit within a 3 mile radius. It is the cultural centre of fuck all, its most famous fact being it is near Birmingham. I have heard residents describe themselves as being from Birmingham, they are that ashamed of their home town. (The worst thing is that many don’t know any better)

It looks like, I imagine, what Hull would look like if, in addition to the original plans, the architect had been blind, retarded and made his models out of dental paste. The place has the same aerial appeal as cat litter, and close up, smells pretty much the same. I live in Birmingham, and every time I pass over the ‘border’ to work near there, (i.e. the M6, which incidentally is the worst stretch of road in Britain) a small part of my soul is eaten away. Literally. say the name three times aloud and somewhere a kitten dies.

So in summary...dont go there.
(Tue 3rd Nov 2009, 17:04, More)