b3ta.com user DrGonzo
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I loiter in deepest darkest s/e England trying to keep out of trouble and off the net. I don't succeed.

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» Best Comebacks

Drunk and Disorderly on the M1
A good mate of mine got in a complete state whilst at uni. and found himself wandering down the side of the M1 in the early hours with a pint glass in hand. Of course the old bill turned up and asked:

"Why shouldn't we arrest you for being drunk and disorderly ?"

- "Er.. because I'm only being drunk and lost"
Cheeky swine managed to get a lift home too.
(Thu 29th Apr 2004, 15:57, More)

» Mini Cabs From Hell

Upon falling into a cab in Leicester
A mate and I after a night on copious amounts of lager fall into a cab somewhere in Leicester.

Cabbie - "Some birds gonna suck my old-bill later..."
Us - "What ?! Er...great mate"
Cabbie - "Do you wanna come along?"
Us - "Er......no thanks buddy"

The rest of the ride home was in complete silence. As if we're going to say yes !
(Thu 27th May 2004, 12:18, More)

» Petty Sabotage

University application...
Getting hold of my good friend's university application for Oxbridge and changing the words "Hong Kong" to "King Kong". It got picked up by the interviewer too ! He didn't get a place.
(Wed 4th May 2005, 13:07, More)

» Fancy Dress

Bad Tasty Party...
A friend turned up at a "bad-taste party" wearing a hideous frilly shirt, tight trousers and the words "Princess Diana was a cunt" scrawled across his back. She'd only died the week before.

He was really popular with the ladies that evening...
(Tue 17th Jan 2006, 11:06, More)

» That's when I knew it was over...

I knew it was finished
when the credits started to roll, the lights came on and people got up to leave...
(Wed 27th Jul 2005, 16:14, More)
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