» The Boss

Could be a fantasic job, but...
...my boss redefines "arse" in so many ways. He's the owner's son, and even somewhere in his mid forties is still trying to crawl out from under Daddy's shadow by Making His Mark on the company. He's a bully who's constantly reminding us that we're just figures in an accounts book at the end of the day. His response to my request for a pay rise (when I moved from being an admin type to editing DVDs - you'd think a rise was in order?) was to very forcibly remind me that Lincoln Uni is just up the road and he could get a graduate who would work for peanuts instead of what I was "demanding" - which was less than a lot of warehousing jobs...

His crowning moment, while I was still doing the admin job, was a fifteen minute lecture about the dangers of the Great Satan, the source of all the is bad in the world... ladies and germs, I give you... the COMMA!

Apparently, commas cost a lot of money. If I was to analyse my work (and I strongly suspect that I was expected to actually do this) and count the number of commas I used, then work out how long it took to type a comma, I could extrapolate the yearly waste of man-hours from using said previously-innocent punctuation mark, and thus realise how much my worthless, grammatically-correct carcass was costing him personally.

I didn't like to point out the waste of man-hours resulting from pointless lectures, buggering off early on a Friday and his fifteen-minute, building-clearing shitting sessions every morning at ten o'clock, as there's a clause in my contract that effectively says "if we don't like you we'll fire you just like that."

Apologies for length, it's my first post so it's a bit shy.
(Tue 23rd Jun 2009, 12:05, More)