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Ahh, Rail Replacement Services. Don'tcha just love 'em?
First post, long term lurker and all that. And a bit of a long story.

Back in December '07, I returned to the UK from visiting my then-girlfriend in the Land of Germs on one of Ryanair's cheap-and-not-so-cheerful at stupid o'clock at night flights. I took the X30 airport shuttle bus from Stansted Airport and got off at Rayleigh in order to board a train home to Hockley, one of the smaller towns on the rail line between Rayleigh and Southend-on-Sewage (end destination on this stretch of track).

Apon entering the station however, there was a huge work train blocking up the tracks for engineering work - Seemed all trains were cancelled and instead were replaced by buses.

Stupidly enough, for some reason I thought that you could buy a ticket from the bus driver like you do on normal buses. I also stupidly assumed that the rail-replacement bus service would stop at every stop between Rayleigh and Southend.

A bus eventually appeared after much waiting, and I was questioned by the driver. He asked me where I was going. "Toward Southend," I said, rather than the opposite direction that the trains normally went in which was toward London. I asked him about buying a ticket. "No worries mate," he said. "Just hop on".

So I jump on this bus, the driver thinking that he's done me a favour, and me thinking "Awesome, a free ride home!". I was proved wrong, however, when I noticed him turn onto and then hurtle down the daul carrigeway that goes directly between Rayleigh and Southend - Entirely by-passing my home town.

Arse and fez.

Turns out that because I didn't have a valid rail ticket, the driver didn't know anything about my destination. Oh, and this was one of the buses that only stop between the major stops on the train route, rather than the smaller stops.

Thanks for the lack of information there, National Express. Very kind of you.

So I get out of the bus outside the terminal station of Southend Victoria. I thank the driver for his kindness of giving me a free ride - Okay so I'm now stranded and further away from home than I was when I was stuck in Rayleigh, it's 1am, no other buses or rail-replacement buses will run before the morning, I'm incredibly fucking thirsty because airport security don't allow liquids onboard thier planes, no shops are open, station is closed so I can't access the vending machines, I have a heavy backpack, and not enough money for a taxi. But he didn't know any of this and therefore can't be blamed, so I thank the guy and watch him drive off.

8 miles sure is a long way to walk after spending the past few hours cramped inside various vehicles, with a heavy pack and while being thirsty. Oh and Tesco are liars - They're sure as hell are not open 24 hours, despite what their signs say. . .

As a good friend said to me when I told her this story, assumption truely is the mother of all fuck-ups. :P Bloody buses, though. Maybe not so good for travelling, but definately good at getting you where you don't want to be if you're not careful. :P

Cemeteries are good places to get free tap water from if you really need a drink that badly, BTW. :/

[Insert witty, yet generic length joke here.]
(Tue 30th Jun 2009, 18:45, More)