Profile for Rabid:
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Über Lurker.
Recent front page messages:
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Best answers to questions:
» I hurt my rude bits
During
energetic sex with ex lover, in a method that could only be likened to the rythm and power of a steam engine arranged in an unusal orgy of flesh, stood to occur a mis-placed exhaust stroke.
The consequential combustion stroke missed the combustion chamber and sent my piston chaffing along her pubic bone and along her bush.
The lubrication quickly disipated like a cheap mineral oil, causing friction of immense pain.
The result was the bloody spurting of my freshly severed frenulum. Keen to make the most of it, the resulting mess of fluid appeared like a cool refreshing summer time treat of strawberries and cream!
Apologies for length, but after that ordeal, has left it *slightly* longer.
(Fri 14th Jul 2006, 16:54, More)
During
energetic sex with ex lover, in a method that could only be likened to the rythm and power of a steam engine arranged in an unusal orgy of flesh, stood to occur a mis-placed exhaust stroke.
The consequential combustion stroke missed the combustion chamber and sent my piston chaffing along her pubic bone and along her bush.
The lubrication quickly disipated like a cheap mineral oil, causing friction of immense pain.
The result was the bloody spurting of my freshly severed frenulum. Keen to make the most of it, the resulting mess of fluid appeared like a cool refreshing summer time treat of strawberries and cream!
Apologies for length, but after that ordeal, has left it *slightly* longer.
(Fri 14th Jul 2006, 16:54, More)
» Lies Your Parents Told You
POP!
When I was younger about 6 or 7, at Christmas, a Balloon popped because it hit a lightbulb. From this day forward, and naturally being scared by such a violent action from a balloon, my parents fooled me into thinking that if I were to touch a lightbulb, whilst it is on, I'd turn into a LADDER of all things!
This was up until 11 or 12, when I was dying for the bathroom and much to my dismay, the lightbulb was b0rked... So I was brave enough to change it myself (I was usually to scared to do this). As the switch was on, it lit up in my hand as I was plugging it in whilst standing on a chair. Much to my relief I did not morph into a window cleaners prized asset, and I could safely enjoy my intended relief- especially after dispelling that unfortunate misconception. Oh man, was I a sucker :|
(Wed 14th Jan 2004, 19:05, More)
POP!
When I was younger about 6 or 7, at Christmas, a Balloon popped because it hit a lightbulb. From this day forward, and naturally being scared by such a violent action from a balloon, my parents fooled me into thinking that if I were to touch a lightbulb, whilst it is on, I'd turn into a LADDER of all things!
This was up until 11 or 12, when I was dying for the bathroom and much to my dismay, the lightbulb was b0rked... So I was brave enough to change it myself (I was usually to scared to do this). As the switch was on, it lit up in my hand as I was plugging it in whilst standing on a chair. Much to my relief I did not morph into a window cleaners prized asset, and I could safely enjoy my intended relief- especially after dispelling that unfortunate misconception. Oh man, was I a sucker :|
(Wed 14th Jan 2004, 19:05, More)
» My first experience of porn
The temple of ... doom?
Awoke one morning when I was but a wee nipper, excited about watching Indiana Jones which I had taped for me the previous evening.
Upon rewinding the tape and pressing play, expecting to hear that wonderful opening music, all I got was dirty dirty porn.
Seems someone used the VCR after I had... and life was never the same again.
(Sun 28th Jan 2007, 14:33, More)
The temple of ... doom?
Awoke one morning when I was but a wee nipper, excited about watching Indiana Jones which I had taped for me the previous evening.
Upon rewinding the tape and pressing play, expecting to hear that wonderful opening music, all I got was dirty dirty porn.
Seems someone used the VCR after I had... and life was never the same again.
(Sun 28th Jan 2007, 14:33, More)
» Not Losing Your Virginity
nooooo!!
I still fear 'The Fish'. A girl of monstrous appearance that relentlessly pursued sexual conquest of my good innocent self. She spat a lot when she talked, and according to local folklore became well lubricated under the influence of arousal. I guess her nick name lends credence to these characteristics.
Thankfully my evasion tactics proved successful and she lost interest (after many, many months).
I have occasionally thought how life would have turned out if a carnal act between her and I were to occur- my conclusion is always, thankfully, "for the worse".
I try to avoid the town where I believe she still pedals her vile appearance upon other poor hapless innocents, consequentially I now live somewhere a lot better, and within walking distance of Glastonbury festival!
Woo!
(Fri 27th Oct 2006, 13:03, More)
nooooo!!
I still fear 'The Fish'. A girl of monstrous appearance that relentlessly pursued sexual conquest of my good innocent self. She spat a lot when she talked, and according to local folklore became well lubricated under the influence of arousal. I guess her nick name lends credence to these characteristics.
Thankfully my evasion tactics proved successful and she lost interest (after many, many months).
I have occasionally thought how life would have turned out if a carnal act between her and I were to occur- my conclusion is always, thankfully, "for the worse".
I try to avoid the town where I believe she still pedals her vile appearance upon other poor hapless innocents, consequentially I now live somewhere a lot better, and within walking distance of Glastonbury festival!
Woo!
(Fri 27th Oct 2006, 13:03, More)
» Pet Names
I had 3 gerbils
named Dolly, Molly and Polly.
And they were forever fighting. It was really quite rather slapstick watching them. Hmm. But then they all died within a week of each other, they lived for years though. We even made them a neat little perspex maze that rested at teh bottom of their perspex cage, covered in sawdust. They loved that.
(Thu 26th Feb 2004, 14:23, More)
I had 3 gerbils
named Dolly, Molly and Polly.
And they were forever fighting. It was really quite rather slapstick watching them. Hmm. But then they all died within a week of each other, they lived for years though. We even made them a neat little perspex maze that rested at teh bottom of their perspex cage, covered in sawdust. They loved that.
(Thu 26th Feb 2004, 14:23, More)