» Helicopter Parents

The Poo museum
I've only just remembered this.
I went to primary school in the Netherlands for a few years, meaning I am completely bilingual and got the best (and worst) of both cultures.
One week my teacher decided to have a school trip to an exhibition that was on in the local museum. It was all about poo, sort of like 'Oh, this is tiger poo, wow' and 'Ah amazing, this is how your poo mechanisms work' etc. Children love that kind of stuff, it's cool.

So the letter got sent out to the parents, telling them to pay 5 guilders (or whatever the cost was back then) and to make a packed lunch for their children, because this was an educational trip about poo.

Of course, my dad had to kick up a fuss about it. He isn't the calmest person at the best of times, so he threw one of his usual tantrums. He wrote a letter to the headmaster, then a few days before the trip met up with him. It's all a bit vague but I can remember him telling everyone what a scandal it was. My mum was fine with the whole thing and probably just went along with him because she knew it wouldn't be a big deal.
'You can't talk about poo, let alone go to a poo museum! What are they teaching you at this school? It's just rude.' Was basically his argument.

Anyway, he ended up coming with us (I think the headmaster asked him to) so that he could be sure that my delicate little mind wouldn't explode when I learned that poo is natural and that every living thing does it.
I think he quite enjoyed it actually.
(Fri 11th Sep 2009, 15:24, More)

» PE Lessons

Beep test.
My PE teacher was quite an old man. He had grey hair and always wore tracksuit trousers and trainers with a faded T shirt. He also had those glasses on a chain, which just made him look older. He was generally quite shouty and scary. And old.

I was always really, really awful at 'the beep test'.
The beep test was an excercise where the teacher played a tape, we were lined up at each end of the hall and when it beeped we had to run to the other side before it beeped again. The beeps would go faster and faster and eventually people started dropping out. Some kids could go up to like, level 10, which meant they'd get a high mark.

Although I'm quite skinny, I'm basically just physically unfit. I get tired after walking up a flight of stairs. I was always the second person to drop out, after the 'larger' kid in our class. This meant I was failing at gym, I was also crap at swinging on the ropes and sports etc.

However, in my last year, after failing the beep test for the last time ever and having quite a low mark for PE, the teacher let me untangle a netball net and marked me on that. It meant I passed PE and the only thing I failed was maths. Turns out he was a nice guy and not a scary, shouty pedo after all.
(Thu 19th Nov 2009, 21:18, More)

» Helicopter Parents

Lip piercing,
I moved to London when I was 17 to go to uni. The rules in my parents' house had always been 'No tattoos or piercings until you're 18 and no crazy hair colours until you move out, and even then you might not be allowed to move back in.' Fair enough. I'd moved out and was living by myself, so yay.

About 2 weeks after I turned 18 I went to Camden to get my lip pierced. It was fine, I'd wanted it for ages etc. I waited a day to phone my parents, because I knew it wouldn't be easy. I was right.

I spoke to my (usually calm) mother who started crying down the phone saying 'You've really upset me, speak to your dad.'
I could already hear him shouting in the background. He carried on shouting through the phone, telling me that he wouldn't care if I turned into a prostitute in London and that I'd ruined my life by getting my lip pierced and that I'd ruined my whole face and was now ugly.

3 years later, they're used to it. But it's just another example of their over-protective weirdness. I don't think they realise that they're pushing me away by doing this stuff, I still get the 'Your little brother is failing at school because you left home' thing. Ughhh.
(Mon 14th Sep 2009, 12:39, More)

» Cars

I am stupid.
2 summers ago I had just passed my driving test, here in London.
I spent my holiday in the Netherlands, where my parents live and made use of my dad's VW Golf. They had no problem with me using the family car for the occasional drive out and about.

As the only driver in my group of friends, I was asked to drive everyone to the Dutch equivalent of Thorpe Park, for fun rollercoaster times.
In Holland (well, the part we drove through, it seems) there are lots of bridges. When the flashy light goes, it means 'Stop, the bridge is opening' and not 'Drive yourself and your friends into the river in your dad's car'

I didn't know that.
Luckily whoever was operating the bridge closed it, just as we crossed the middle of it. They also raised the barrier on the other side, just in time.
So we didn't drown or anything, I just scared the shit out of everyone with my rubbish driving.

I don't really drive much now.
(Thu 22nd Apr 2010, 16:18, More)

» Asking people out

Ah bless.
Good times;
I met up with my lovely partner after finding him on an online dating site & chatting on msn for a long time.
We were both nervous when we met up, and when he tried to hold my hand the first time it was very awkward and giggly, partly because we took a wrong turning due to the confusion and almost walked into a wall.

Anyways, we ended up in bed together (as you do) and before we went to sleep he said ' Well. I suppose now is a better time than any to ask you out, because we're both naked. Will you be my girlfriend?'
I said yes, obviously.

Bad times;
I once asked a boy out. 'So..umm...do you..would you go for a drink with me or something, sometime?' and when he said yes I was so surprised I followed it up with 'Oh...Really? Like, you know I mean, as a date, right?'
He did. But then he stood me up. Oh well.
(Thu 10th Dec 2009, 14:36, More)