b3ta.com user Jelly God
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» Helicopter Parents

Being sat down by my mum at age 13
with a bannana.

And being shown how to put a nodder on.

Still makes me shudder.
(Thu 17th Sep 2009, 12:52, More)

» Conspiracy theory nutters

Sometimes I wonder if the Matrix is real
and we're all not really here. Is this really steak that Im eating? It makes me go into a daze for days on end and nothing and no one can stop me from being catatonic and just sitting round drooling. I've got an important job too, but when I get like this I just disappear and nobody can get hold of me until I pull myself together.

Yours sincerely,

Gordon Brown
(Tue 1st Sep 2009, 16:17, More)

» IT Support

It was terrible a few years back
when the entire IT support population went into mourning. They were inconsolable for days.


You can only cancel Xena Warrior Princess once.
(Thu 24th Sep 2009, 16:31, More)

» Conspiracy theory nutters

I've heard that if you WIN QOTW
you get a statue made of yourself in the high internet temple, and you have all your bills paid for you for a year and you get a small country named after yourself. Is this true? It must be! Somebody in a dirty raincoat told me at a bus stop.
(Thu 3rd Sep 2009, 11:25, More)

» The most childish thing you've done as an adult

My most popular childish thing
Is when someone sneezes I look at them with absolute disgust and say in my meanest, harshest voice: "You dirty fucker!"

Works best with children and nuns.
(Wed 23rd Sep 2009, 11:14, More)
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