b3ta.com user McJuurgensHaircut
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Im the worlds first gay pirate activist

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Best answers to questions:

» Helicopter Parents

Oh The Horror......
My Mums not particularly protective, racist, homophobic or offensive yet she once managed to hit all four spot on with a comment so out of character it was the equilivent of Hitler having a Jewish girlfriend.

On hearing that me and the girlfriend had booked up a trip to Tunisia, she uttered the immortal line 'Be careful son, those Muslim men are always raping fat white boys'

I didn't know whether to laugh, cry or go on a diet.
(Tue 15th Sep 2009, 14:09, More)

» The most childish thing you've done as an adult

Ayia Napa 2002, A war between two friends, a battle to which there would be no return

He Stole My Passport
I superglued porn mags on his suitcase

He put pinpricks in my condoms
I set fire to his favourite shirt

He superglued my shoes to the ceiling
I waxed his chest while he slept

He poured wax in my pubes
I shit on his chest and sent his mum a picture of the aftermath from his phone.

Apparently sometimes things can go too far
(Thu 17th Sep 2009, 15:57, More)

» I don't understand the attraction

You Won't Like Me When Im Angry
Peter 'Fucking' Kay, quite simply the broadest, unfunniest, wanksock of a comedian I have ever had the pain of sitting through. I could quite easily pull his nails off with pliers whilst skull fucking him with the femur of a small Somalian child.

Don't get me wrong, Phoenix Nights was a little bit of a gem, but with every painful new DVD release and TV show it becomes more apparent that the success of Phoenix nights was down to Dave Spikey.

He's loud, obnoxious, unfunny, arrogant, steals other comedians jokes and fucking ugly. He's the McDonalds of comedians, he's found a recipe that agrees with the retarded masses and he just recycles and recycles it to death (there must be at least 20 varieties of the Garlic Bread joke). I could quite happily massacre by association, slaying down anyone with a dvd, book, mug, keyring, ringtone or Peter Kay branded chipmunk (available soon).

Catchphrases suck dick, Peter Kay loves the cock and his mum takes it up the Arse.
(Tue 20th Oct 2009, 16:04, More)

» Famous people I hate

Ant and Dec
Im sure Im not the first but fuck me if I wouldn't love to cunt them in the fuck. One of thems three inches from being a midget, the other geezers about 95% Downs Syndrome and neither of the geordie fucks are anywhere near funny.

And yet somehow, everyone loves them?!?!?! ITV's Saturday Evening darlings. And before someone says they're nice lads, I've met them twice and they're arrogant, self indulged little wankers.
(Fri 5th Feb 2010, 11:10, More)

» Sexual fetishes

I love porn, preferrably amateur, definately not BBW and definately not barbie dolls, but its a nightmare to try a find a bit of grot with girls that are size 12-16-18 maybe on the net. Nightmare :-(

Where are the normal sized girls on tinterweb?
(Fri 23rd Oct 2009, 13:45, More)
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