b3ta.com user youwhat?
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An educator by profession, this island born northern muppet enjoys many of the finer things in life: league one football, alcohol and cheese. His main interest besides this is like, er, y'know, ideas and stuff, thinking and trying to be creative. youwhat? is very much looking forward to entering into witty banter with some b3tans, old and new...

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» I don't understand the attraction

Nobody had it when I was at school. They were just hypperactive. Now they get told they've got ADHD, and act up to it. It's just an excuse for being a little git.
(Mon 19th Oct 2009, 22:31, More)

» PE Lessons

A lazy man created humour, once. By accident.
At my first secondary school, PE was much as everyone on here seems to have found it. An aggressive, moustachioed man would shout at us and make us stand in our underwear, whilst displaying a spare pair. I once popped my balls out during rugby, accidentally, due to this.

Anyway... at my next school, a selective and very academic school we moved to at 14 if selected, PE didn't really exist. We had a very lazy, but nice, old man, not a nonce, who would lazily cover lessons in the morning as he recovered from his nightly consumption of ale, by reading a trashy, shiny covered man novel about racist soldiers killing africans etc.

One afternoon, a girl had joined us for the lazy, geek ridden kickabout that passed as PE. She was much better than most of the lads, who were useless...

None of us took the game seriously. For some reason we were shouting 'jugs' and 'go for the jugular' a lot. endlessly.

He got fed up.

He asked us not to milk the joke.

We had to stop playing.
(Mon 23rd Nov 2009, 19:39, More)

» Neighbours

I am
the neighbour that people write about. except when i lived on cromwell street in gloucester. i always like fred, and then...
(Fri 2nd Oct 2009, 16:53, More)

» IT Support

First post this, after a long time lurking.

I work in education, and when I started my present job I had to get up to speed with interactive technology. One of the first things I did was look at some software our department had. I took it home.

I loaded the disk into my laptop, and what should come up but the menu for a hardcore pornographic film. Do remember that this had been taked from the dept. store room and was meant for use in the classroom. I was very relieved I hadn't just banged it on in class.

Obviously, I watched the film... or about 30 seconds of it anyway. I stopped so soon, not because I had erupted everywhere, but because there was a well endowed man dressed as a clown, including the make up, doing unspeakable things to a woman dressed as a vampire or gothic vixen or something.

Anyway, I nervously took it to the IT people the next day, and one of them seemed very relieved to see the film. After I explained that it wasn't mine etc, I left and began to relax a little. Imagine my surprise the next day, when a copied DVD turned up in my pigeon hole. And several of my colleague's pigeon holes, all copied using their computers in the fetid hellhole they spend their days in.

Length - probably a bit too long, and not snappy enough, but give me time... am also concussed after falling into a hole last nite, then down some stairs... doesn't help.
(Sun 27th Sep 2009, 1:23, More)