b3ta.com user Blunt Logic
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» The Best / Worst thing I've ever eaten

Snowball fight
When I was 19, I managed to convince this older American lady to audition for the meat whistle orchestra, an invitation she glady took upon herself. The audition itself was fine, no complaints, but once I had delivered the Tomaspunk cruise missile, she pondered (I thought she was just surprised at the amount and velocity) and then slowly came up. Being a little inebriated, I thought nothing of giving her a congratulatory cuddle but she wanted a kiss - no alarm bells yet - that is until her lips parted and she gave me a little gift of my/her own.

Worst thing I've ever eaten.
(Tue 31st May 2011, 14:35, More)

» Fairgrounds, theme parks, circuses and carnivals

The winner.
My Father was an engineer in Yorkshire in the 70s. He was renowned in the local area for being a jack of all trades but still specialised in two things - circuit components for amusement park machines and belly buttons for cars (fuck off).

He was married to a mono-breasted woman named Nigel (not my mother) who the family and all his friends hated but he married nonetheless. After three years of marriage and her stealing all his money she filed for divorce on the basis that it was a loveless marriage and he was having an affair. It went to court as my Dad was stupid enough to marry a one titted troll but not lose everything to one and he ended up winning the court case. The judge ruled that he had fair grounds for circuits and car navels.

Boom.
(Fri 10th Jun 2011, 8:48, More)

» Fairgrounds, theme parks, circuses and carnivals

Fairground? With no lifts?
They should call it a STAIRground!!!!
(Wed 15th Jun 2011, 13:37, More)