b3ta.com user Jester_
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for Jester_:
Profile Info:


Recent front page messages:

Sex sells everything!

(Thu 16th Jan 2003, 19:06, More)

Poor sod

Edit: First Front Page! Woo Yay!
(Tue 14th Jan 2003, 23:59, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Good Advice

Life is like riding a bike
If it's too easy, you're going downhill.
To keep your balance, you must keep moving.
If you do nothing but look back, you'll fall off.
(Fri 21st May 2010, 13:08, More)

» IT Support

Secret codes of the IT industry
If an IT guy ever tells you 'that's interesting' while looking at your problem, it means he hasn't got a clue.

A quick visit to Google will probably be in the not-too-distant future... most problems are fixed this way!
(Thu 24th Sep 2009, 14:49, More)

» IT Support

Considered writing this for last week's question
For a tricky Windows NT to 2000 upgrade the company I was with took on a couple of contractors to do the project. One of them was a good laugh, and one was the typical nerdy IT guy.

One lunchtime I came back to my PC to find that someone had done the old classic hide-all-the-icons-and-start-bar-and-put-an-internet-explorer-window-with-goatse-image-on-the-desktop trick. I managed to get rid of that just before the IT director came bounding round the corner with some inane question about which way up his mouse was meant to go or somesuch. Revenge was to be had!

My plan was similar only I locked out right-clicking the desktop to get the desktop properties page. Ho ho ho. The next morning I came in to find that everything had been disabled - desktop, icons, star menu, context menus, the works. Bastard! I basically had a blank screen and everything resulted in 'This operation has been disabled by your administrator'.

Things went back and forth for a week or so. Switched keys, locked accounts, cable swaps, etc. After he deleted the ntldr boot file from my PC (easy to replace if you know what you're doing) I decided enough was enough. Luckily for me he asked me for a copy of some files and I told him I'd burn them to CD for him overnight.

The next morning I came in, and started working as normal. After a while I gave him the CD as requested, but said nothing. I was tempted to ask him to test the CD to make sure it was OK, but I was wary of giving the game away.

After a while he did decide to try the CD. At that moment the IT director came round and asked for everyone's attention as he had an announcement to make. He stood in the middle of the office, right behind this guy's desk. 5 seconds later there's a loud siren noise and flashing black and pink, full screen, is 'I AM GAY'. Pretty much everyone on his side of the desks saw.

The IT director thought it was funny (lucky for me) and the pranks stopped after that!
(Thu 24th Sep 2009, 13:57, More)

» IT Support

A little work based relaxation
Back in the mists of time (about 4 or 5 years ago) I worked in the IT department for a failing healthcare company. My team 'leader' was a fat foolish man who only occasionally came into the office. I didn't really care for the job and I was only there as it was close to home and easy, and I guess I was just lazy.

For example:

* Tired? Go into the server room and fall asleep behind a rack of servers. Mmmm warm.

* Bored? Time to go to the unused office with the contractor and play football with a large roll of tissue paper, or frisbee CD's about the place.

* Angry at the failure of a boss? Again with the frisbee CD's only with a bit more thrust.

* Simply can't be arsed? Go to lunch 5 minutes after the boss and saunter in about an hour and 45 minutes later, claiming you went just before he got back.

Upgrade time! Sending malicious packets to the file server to make it crash, which usually resulted in one of the above, plus putting a request in to the IT director for spanky new hardware with all the extras. It arrived a week later. Result!
(Thu 24th Sep 2009, 13:30, More)

» Strict Parents

My mate who shall remain nameless, has very strict parents indeed. So much in fact that he practically has to lie about his whereabouts whenever he's out.

They forced him to go to university, and when they kicked him out (because he really didn't want to go, he's actually a really smart guy) what did they do? They sent him back again! Twice!

Whenever he comes round my house it's usually because they've sent him out on some soul crushingly dull errand (get them some money from the cash machine, go to Tescos to buy some bread, travel 10 miles bypassing loads of other chicken shops to buy some chicken because this one tastes better... how do they know if they don't try another one? I digress...) and when they check up on him he says something like 'I'm at the check-out now mum' even though he's in my living room with Scuzz quite loud on the telly...

(Thu 8th Mar 2007, 12:56, More)
[read all their answers]