b3ta.com user redexile
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» Celebrity Encounters III

I don't care who you are, fuck off
Pearoast: Around 1990, I was wrestling an enormous wheeled flight-case containing big boxes of electronic-make-music-loud stuff up a ramp onto a big stage in a field in Berkshire. On reaching the top, someone was stood blocking the ramp,with their back to me, and momentum was in charge of the proceedings. And that is how I came to bellow "Get out the fucking way you stupid fucking twat" at Mick Jagger. To his credit, he said "Sorry man" and got out of the fucking way
(Thu 5th Dec 2013, 20:25, More)

» Driven to Madness

Wheelie luggage twats
People with wheelie luggage with extendible handles on escalators (particularly on the Tube in That London). Most drop the handle when getting on, carry it, then as soon as they step off the escalator, stop and fumble about trying to extend the handle again as they can't be arsed carrying it a few yards clear of the end. What they don't seem to realise is that there are other people behind them who are being spat off the escalator, and they are blocking it, with a serious pile-up being a real possibility. I've found the best way of avoiding this scenario happening is to treat them to a flying shoulder-charge in the back. Not only is seeing them face-planting deeply satisfying, but you also have the get-out card of 'sorry, you were blocking the escalator and I couldn't stop'. I commend this course of action to the board.
(Fri 5th Oct 2012, 17:56, More)

» Getting Old

Total Perspective Vortex for 50-somethings (like me)
The gap between the present and the release of 'Anarchy in UK' by the Sex Pistols is greater than the gap between the release of 'Anarchy in UK' by the Sex Pistols and the end of World War II
(Thu 7th Jun 2012, 21:31, More)

» Stags and Hens

Went on a big-house-in-the-middle-of-nowhere stag do, twenty of us, mostly 40-something pro- or ex-musicians, a mini-bus and a space-bus loaded to the gunwhales with beer and rot-gut scrumpy, our pockets stuffed with MASSIVE drugs and two huge hampers of pies and cheese. Three hours solid drinking in the pub beforehand, three more en route. We got there without incident, and over the next two days, drank all the booze, smoked crippling amounts of weed, played music at stupid volumes, did the washing up, bagged up the empties, and came home again. Mind you, someone did crack a beer-glass while rinsing it under the hot tap. Animals, we are.
(Wed 5th Feb 2014, 21:58, More)

» Shit Claims to Fame II

I don't care who you are, you're in the way
Around 1990, I was wrestling an enormous flight-case containing electric-make-music-loud stuff onto the side of a big stage in Berkshire. Someone was in the way. I requested that they allow us egress. And that is how I came to say "Get out the way you stupid fucking twat" to Mick Jagger.
(Mon 24th Sep 2012, 18:40, More)
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