» What was I thinking?

My first ever girlfriend...
...was a total babe. Bright, funny, great body (enhanced by glandular fever) she was an absolute honey. We were saving ourselves for each other. She was Girl#1.

Anyway, I went to a party (I was 16 at the time) and got chatting to a girl who was also yummy (Girl#2). And she knew my girlfriend. I ended up kissing her (pissed and so on) and then decided to split up with my girlfriend to go out with her - saving oneself is all well and good but I was being offered it right now.

So it turns out they were deadly enemies (as only 16 year old schoolgirls can be) and Girl#2 was actually a lesbian and just wanted to cause Girl#1 pain.

Weirdly, still in touch with Girl#2 and she is a copper in Thames Valley Police.

I wish I hadn't gone to the party.
(Thu 23rd Sep 2010, 21:08, More)

» Expensive Weekends

A day out with the Army...
...sounded like a good idea at the time.

"Take a Warrior (think 'small tank') to this open day - good opportunity to chat up women if nothing else" said my Boss.

So off we went to some girls' school near Nottingham. Up clambers a very nice looking young lady - the elder sister of one of the pupils. "What's this?" she says, pointing to the Laser Arming Switch.

The switch was locked on - so I forced it off with my Swiss Army knife just so I could (illegally) fire it and impress her.

When we got back, I told my Boss what I'd done.

Cost: 3 x Extra Duties for 'occasioning £17500 of damage to a laser."

And she came to visit the following weekend. (Taxpayers) money well spent, I'd say.
(Sun 16th May 2010, 20:42, More)