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» The Police II

A little pea
Out on patrol one day, sat at the front of a queue at traffic lights, i see a guy on his mobile phone* come to a halt directly infront of me, as he's turning right. I can't really justify doing a u-turn to stop him as i was on the way to a higher priority job, so decided to give him a little shock.

I turned my siren and lights on for about 2 seconds, at which point he sees me just as he's setting off, panics and drops his phone - out of his open window! It smashed on the floor and most likely driven over several times by following traffic.

It may not have been professional, but i laughed all the way to my next job.

*one of my pet hates, along with children without seat belts.
(Mon 9th May 2011, 11:08, More)

» The B3TA Confessional

A long time ago, in a different career...
I was at a military training facility for electrical engineers (remember that bit)

One of the guys on teh course (let's call him 'M') lived in the room downstairs. According to his room-mates, M's evening rotated around the various soaps and refused to wear headphones as the other room-mates wanted to watch alternative programming.

I was asked to intervene. (as a fully trained elec. eng before starting the training)

One day his TV miraculously stopped working. nothing difficult, i just opened the plug and screwed the live down onto the insulation. The plug would look sound to non-techincal types, however, as he was in training to do such things as fault finding on electrical equipment, i expected M to easily identify the issue.

Not so. M comes to me the day after asking if i'll take a look at the TV. I can hardly say 'No', can I. I take the back off and complain at him for not keeping the inside of the TV clean and get him to hoover it out. I take a quick look around, do a few tests, but 'can't find the fault'. I offer to take the TV to a friend of mine who happens to do TV repair. M agrees.

the TV spends the rest of the course in my cupboard - obviously not being repaired - until the last day at which i hand him the TV back, plug having been sorted, and charged him 20.

It bought a round for the class at the leaving do.

Sorry M.
(Thu 26th Aug 2010, 14:36, More)

» Creepy!

Dr. Shambolic gives me the creeps.

(Thu 7th Apr 2011, 14:11, More)

» The B3TA Confessional

To the Wife...
Yes, i did go to a lap dancing club whilst on holiday with my two mates.

Yes, i did enjoy it.

Yes, i do see what men get out of it.

Yes, i would do it again, given half the chance.
(Thu 26th Aug 2010, 14:22, More)

» The Emergency Services

Dog day afternoon
Well, i've locked up more shoplifters than I can remember. I've wham-rammed enough doors to give me bad shoulders. I've spent so much time in custody waiting for defence solicitors i could have written a novel.

I've cleaned up body parts off a road. I've told a parent their child has been killed by a drunk driver. I restrained myself when i captured the drunk driver. I've seen more dead bodies than a Tarantino film.

But the hardest thing, probably because i'm not a parent, was coming across an incident whereby a dog had been hit by a few cars, and comforting it for a few minutes until it died. The look in its eyes was so sad - i've had flashbacks.

Dog had no collar - nothing to identify it, so couldn't be with its owner when he died. Bastards.
(Mon 20th May 2013, 13:34, More)
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