b3ta.com user ProjectWeasel
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» I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Follow the fresh prints
(Fri 8th Nov 2019, 9:49, More)

» British Slang Dictionary

Poofter -- Hear me out now.
When working in NY as a removals man, 'you fag' was a common slur. I convinced a fair few of my colleagues to use the British equivalent, as the etymology is much finer (Urban Dictionary) - "based on the permanant stretching of the anus that results from repeated anal sex, which causes farts to be emitted with a "pooft" sound rather than the usual, stacatto "bra-a-a-p".

I found out Merkins pronounce it 'Poof - Da'. A small section of NY removal men are still hopefully using this.

**The first time I asked someone in America if I could "bum a fag" I was regarded with very weird looks.**
(Fri 22nd Jan 2016, 19:42, More)

» Random Acts of Evil

Lights Out
Me and my buddy used to catch the same bus to and from school. On some nights during the Festive season, infused with a malice that only a day of hard learning can ferment, we would take our scissors and cut the fairy lights which adorned the more affluent/less shameful houses.
(Tue 21st Feb 2012, 16:03, More)

» I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Why did the amorous owl give up?
Too wet to woo
(Fri 29th Jun 2018, 22:57, More)

» Random Acts of Evil

Hot money
Not me, but rather my Pa in his youth - Apparently this works best if you are at school, due to ease of access to the necessary prep materials, and plenty of potential victims.

Heat up a coin in a Bunsen burner, taking care to hold with tongs. Depending on your level of malice wait until you have a white/red hot disc of near-molten metal, and deposit on the floor. Wait for a passer-by to be ‘branded’ by Her Maj.
(Tue 21st Feb 2012, 16:22, More)
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