b3ta.com user underpont
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» "You're doing it wrong"

I got to the age of around 21 when I found out that
tripe wasn't actually a fish.
(Thu 15th Jul 2010, 15:02, More)

» Dodgy work ethics

Down the hopper and into the mix
This bloke was sort of my boss and he did ask me to keep schtum, so I reckon it qualifies.

For a few months I worked in a food production factory.

My job was emptying big bags of ingredients down a hopper into the mixer downstairs.

There were 2 of us doing that job and being up near the roof, closed off from the rest of the factory my colleague/boss, who'd been there a number of years, used to have the odd cig on the job. Blowing the smoke into the top of the hopper which sucked it up and away.

Occasionally the plastic curtain would flap a few yards and stairs away meaning someone was coming, giving him just enough time to drop his fag down the hopper, and into the mix.

Nobody in the packing side of the factory ever mentioned a stray fag-end found in any mixes while I was there, and there were quite a few. So I assume they must've gone out to the customers.

I felt terrible not telling the bosses about it but I was young and new, then I left.

This was several years ago so hopefully it doesn't happen these days. But you never know.
(Thu 7th Jul 2011, 18:58, More)

» Bodge Jobs

I get rats (an old house). Found they were coming in through a gap in the kitchen floor. So I shoved a tea towel in the gap. Job done!
Tea towel is not a good rat keeper-outer, however stuffed in it is. So for some reason I emptied a can of febreeze in to the gap and covered it with stones. No vermin since. I think it was the spray what did it.
(Thu 10th Mar 2011, 22:18, More)

» The Apocalypse

South Goa. Several years ago.
Staggering home drunk in a blackout I walked into probably a water buffalo. It was proper dark: can't see my feet dark.

so I pretty much bounced off him and fell off the side of the road into a sludgy field.
Staggered back up to the apartment stinking and was laughed at by my flatmate who'd done the same thing 10 minutes ago.

We both got in the shower together and got 'washed' by a couple of scandi birds.

Some of the above is true.
(Fri 15th Jun 2012, 0:03, More)

» Winning

Still winning.
I bought several hundred ounces of Silver bullion in August last year at around $18 per ounce.
Right now it's pushing $50.

Hoping to sell when I have enough for a house, or near enough. If it crashes I'll just buy more.
(Thu 28th Apr 2011, 16:38, More)
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