b3ta.com user discowho?
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» Anonymous

I used to be Mr Wimpy at kids parties in the restaurant.
Generally involved scaring the under 6's or being beaten up by the over 6's.
At one 7th birthday party, a couple of kids decided to find out if mr wimpy had shins and promptly kicked the living bejeesus out of me.
I had the last laughs though, I was responsible for their party bags so gave all the little horrors who kicked the hell out of me tartare sauce sachets instead of sweets. I'd like to think I put those wrong uns on the straight and narrow
(Thu 14th Jan 2010, 12:41, More)

» Vomit Pt2

shrooms + tequila = no fun times
hey guys, this is my first post.
Twas 6 years ago and me and my friends celebrated a birthday with a bit of a pub crawl and umpteen shots of tequila. went back to a friend of a friends house to crash when some bright spark decided to bring out some of the welsh Hills finest (no, not tom jones) for some Hallucinogenic fun and games. I boshed way too many mushrooms and partied away. All I remember is sitting down and closing my eyes for what seemed like 2 seconds. I promptly started to sense that familiar wretching feeling. I covered my mouth but my legs were being controlled by someone else so couldnt get up to rush to the toilet. thus the sick only had one place to go- I covered my mouth with both hands but somehow the sick went behind me and there was a perfect outline of me drawn on to the wall. this freaked out the flat owner who started screaming- not good if you're tripping- I can remember thinking the only sensible thing was to set the room on fire. i then just sat the kitchen corner for a few hours having the worst experience of my life. police turned up, there were fights with the neighbours and all I could think of was that my soul was in that sick imprint of me and it needed to be burnt. luckily I wasnt capable of clapping let alone lighting a match. Havent done shrooms since.
(Tue 12th Jan 2010, 12:48, More)

» Good Advice

Sea Sickness?- a continuation
Eat jam sandwiches.
Not because it stops you from being sick but it means your sick isnt so unpleasant coming up.
(Wed 26th May 2010, 14:08, More)

» Cars

blisters like grapes
Reading Festival99. Passed my test 3 months earlier and decided to drive to Reading with my mates.
All was fine until we got there. The Queue to get in the car park meant the car started to overheat. I opened the bonnet to check and as I did so water from the overflow tank thing spat water at me. Hit me right in the left thigh, half an inch from my gentleman's bits. What might have been if I wasn't wearing briefs or more endowed! anywhoo, all I was concerned of at that point was getting the car off the road,phoning the AA and making sure I could get my ticket before the box office shut. half hour of running around ensued until I realised my left leg felt a lot heavier. I looked down my trousers and saw a mass of blisters that looked like grapes below my tackle. luckily the paramedics were around who used some sort of saline dressing that helped me and meant I didnt have to go to hospital straight away. all was fine although I was in constant agony and slept all of 6 hours all weekend. Driving back after the rush at 4am sunday morning to prevent overheating again led me to falling asleep driving at 70mph. luckily woke up when I went over hard shoulder line.
The scar on my thigh looks like the map of gibraltar and whenever I see it, it reminds me that you should never drive whilst tired or open your bonnet straight away if your engine is overheating.
(Thu 22nd Apr 2010, 13:06, More)