» Vomit Pt2

My Top 4
There are just too many to describe what with Noroviruses and the drinking exploits of teenagedom but here are a few of my top ones:

- Freshers week with very stingey and reclusive flatmates resulted in Chicken Tikka McCoys and Merlot flavoured chunder spewing aplenty, compounded with lavatorial purpose confusion whereby my trousers were round my ankles (not really necessary for puketime) resulted in knocking myself out on the toilet bowl twice for a total of one hour. Managed to confine rejected stomach contents to bathroom though.

- Gastroenteritis struck when I was at work, Christmas Eve 2004. Cue me trying to precariously aim into bowl and basin respectively in train toilet with malfunctioning door, perfectly exposing more than reasonably necessary to the Essex public. Perfected the 'puking between legs whilst on the crapper' manoeuvre.

- Yet more overindulgence of rancid cocktails involving Dooleys Toffee skank resulted in blowing chunks impeccably aimed into a drain in host’s garden. Bathroom was obviously engaged with all the other alcohol poisoned partygoers. Ahh the memories!

- Gastroenteritis again last summer. Highlights were having two mongtastic kids dutifully point out that I had just barfed in the middle of busy Bromley High street, and getting to taste a manky lamb kebab and yoghurt sauce in reverse several times whilst trying to make my way home by bus/walking/crawling.

Am practically teetotal now.
(Tue 12th Jan 2010, 13:06, More)