b3ta.com user Sir Itchalot
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I am nerdier than 75% of all people. Are you a nerd? Click here to take the Nerd Test, get geeky images and jokes, and write on the nerd forum!

The third image that appears when I search Google Images with my username. I likey:

How many germs live on your cell phone?

Created by Oatmeal

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Lies that went on too long

Seeing as this QOTW was so late being started
It obviously just wasn't meant to be and keeping it alive any longer is simply an offence against natural justice, morality, the mind, and anything else you can be arsed to mention.

In short: Rob/Scaryduck, kill it, kill it now. Please?
(Wed 14th Mar 2012, 20:42, More)

» Irrational Hatred

Radio etiquette
I work as a minicab driver for a large London-based firm who use radios to communicate with their drivers. What really gets my goat is the number of people who seem to have absolutely no grasp of correct radio etiquette.

It should be something like the following:

Driver: 'Charlie Papa 1-9-1' (my callsign)
Controller: 'Charlie Papa 1-9-1'
D: '*insert message here*'
C: 'Roger/further instructions'
D: 'Roger'
(driver and controller parts are pretty much interchangeable depending on who needs to pass on information)

Instead you get drivers calling, then not giving the contoller a message; or drivers giving their callsign and their message all in one go without waiting for the controller to acknowledge them; or drivers trying to call over the top of other drivers; or drivers not responding to the controller when he's trying to get hold of them; or... You get the idea. It should be easy, but for some people the concept seems to be beyond them!

Apologies for nicheness and length, but I have to put up with this incompetence for 11 hours a day...
(Wed 6th Apr 2011, 22:07, More)

» First World Problems

I tried to insert my fist in one of the orifices of a large swathe of Essex, but couldn't.
I had a fist Weald problem.
(Thu 8th Mar 2012, 16:55, More)

» Dad stories

I'll just leave this here...
One of the things I am most looking forward about being a Dad (my boy is nearly 1), is lying creatively about things I know nothing about...

Like this Dad-Trolling Museum
(Fri 26th Nov 2010, 16:10, More)

» Easiest Job Ever

I quite like driving, always have done ever since I was a kid. I got involved with karting quite heavily until I (quite literally) grew out of it. Anyway, these days me and a few of my mates get together roughly once every 2 weeks and do a few laps of different circuits.

We're quite a bunch of characters. There's one guy who's only been doing it for a couple of years, he thinks he's the dog's bollocks, but he keeps crashing into everyone; in fact, he ran into a guy who's got the same car as me a couple of weekends ago. There's another older guy who stopped doing it for a few years; he was really good, then started losing it. He couldn't keep away though and he's started doing it again, although he's now quite a bit slower than he used to be.

We usually keep track of who wins what and a couple of years ago, I managed to come out on top. Most of the other guys think I'm a bit up myself, but I don't really care about them. To be honest, I think they're just a bit jealous of my girlfriend, who's pretty hot.

I do absolutely love driving and this gives me the chance to really put my foot down without the coppers breathing down my neck; I pulled a couple of stunts on the road coming out of one circuit nearer the beginning of the year and got nabbed. I ended up having to pay a fine, which was a bit annoying.

The best bit of it all? I get paid huge amounts of money for doing something I love!

First serious story, be gentle. Apologies for length, etc...
(Wed 15th Sep 2010, 16:41, More)
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