» School Naughtiness

The OI Boys
Mid 80's. Secondary school. Aged 16 and it's leave or stay - and most left. The year of 70+ kids reduced to 9 people, 6 boys and 3 girls. The boys decided to form a 'club' called the Oi Boys. Which was basically an excuse to be bad. Ultimately, we were all intelligent people, all went to Uni and got good degrees or good jobs, so it was perhaps this radical sense of impending good behaviour that caused us to leave the 'rails' behind. We went off in a big way. Now, I have no idea if any of my fellow Oi Boys subscribe, but if they do, they will know of these games. The school is still going and thus remain anonymous. Such highlights included:

Bottle Snooker - buying 10p bottles of fizz in all colours, using a stick as a cue and playing snooker with the aim of spinning the bottles to fizz them up before smashing the crap out them hoping they would explode. They did.

Crazy darts - fluorescent tubes are fun. And we'd just learnt they contained carcinogens, so that was a challenge too. Ours in the 6th form were unguarded but mounted on a metal bracket that extends from the ceiling by about an inch - the challenge was to hit our 'bullseye', this being the lump of metal. You either missed, hit the metal or, shockingly, hit the tube which would spark and shatter. Your challenge was then to pick up the pieces, tidy up, then find an unused classroom and smuggle a replacement back. You see, a blown bulb is sooo much easier top get away with than one that appears (on a consistent basis) to explode.

Screwdriver darts - different tot he game above. Soft backed chairs respond favourably to a well-thrown screwdriver. Based on numerous ninja star movies (I thin), you had to throw the screwdriver, making it spin end on end, embedding itself in the seat. Mega fun. Until you miss. Dumpy, for that was his name, missed and hit the glass behind that cracked quite badly. Dumpy, being smart, sat in front of it at assembly (or whatever our motley collection was called) to hide it. Forgetting that glass can be seen from both sides, through its very nature. He got in shit for that one.

Car crash museum - we were all learning to drive so some nice parents gave, or loaned cars. Which, being 17, we tended to physically alter through accidents. Every time it happened you had to bring a piece in to show the class and put it on display. A hidden rule was that these pieces could be used for...

WWIII - or whatever we called it. Classroom changed to feature desks (with those tall backs facing inwards). No mans land in the middle. The aim was to split up and throw whatever came to hand at the opposition . Your classmates since no on else would join in. I remember the time when one poor chap had to go to hospital having been hit by a well thrown air filter from a Fiat 500. The full housing too, since it weighed a bit. He needed stitches and still refused to say what hit him, as the air filter was unlikely to be allowed to stay. And it would have given the game away.

Smashing things up - anything really. Mainly a desk or cupboard would be pummelled to within an inch of its life (if it were alive) but rendering it hundreds of broken pieces of wood. These were then scoped up and taken to the nearest car before we drove to the nearby woods and flung the bits into them as we went past. I kid you not that at least 15 desks and chairs lay there. No doubt ramblers would have a concerned look as they inspect their bluebells to be confronted by a lump of wood, in its natural habitat, with the words 'Sean sucks cock' staring at them.

Taping Hippy to the pole - just what it says really. Copious amounts of duck tape, or sellotape were sufficient to hold Hippy to the central classroom support pole. Which was nice. I'm sure Hippy sees the funny side of it now.

Adidas bags do not burn - they smoulder. We all had them - those sort-of-lookalike-doctors bags with the three leaves on the side. Did you know if you lit one end of the zip, it would smoulder continually, releasing a fine wisp of smoke? It's mega and quite hypnotising to watch.

Waterproof Pencil cases - so many times we discovered that pencil cases can be waterproof. Not the zip, but it was incredibly amusing to grab some ones while they were otherwise engaged (in school work), fill it up with water, close the zip and lean it against the gas pipe or something. Que much laughter when they grab it and tend to open the zip quickly before checking to ensure they've not been caught, as water floods the desk.

There are many more, but as mature immature teenagers, with the world at our feet and a class of 9, we had a lot of fun. Way more than in any other year. We're all grown up and family men now, and live around the world. But for a good few months, we were one. Long may the memories of the Oi Boys continue...
(Mon 12th Sep 2011, 4:24, More)