b3ta.com user Dr Whom
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Long time lurker, first time caller.

I've written a book called Before and After.

It's the story of a 601lb man who needs his leg amputating. He's being craned out of his flat to take him to hospital when the world ends. It's a story about hope.

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Best answers to questions:

» Impromptu Games You Play

Snorting my wife's nipples
I used to play a game where I would snort my wife's nipples as if they were lines of coke. It's a very simple game but hugely enjoyable. Might I suggest that you don't all use my wife though as she's a very busy woman.

On a more mundane note we used to play a game on long motorway journeys where we would take the motorway junction number (eg 25) and say where we lived at age 25, where we were working, what we were doing, etc. You both have to have finished by the time you get to the next junction whereupon you start with 24 and so on. If you're only 4 then you will be crap at this game and, more to the point, you shouldn't be driving on the motorway.

*offers up silent prayer thanking the lord for the anonymity of the web*
(Wed 31st Mar 2004, 12:39, More)

» Slang Survey

Euphemistically speaking
I heard these euphemisms recently and they made me arf, although they sound like they might have come via Viz...
'The Oompah-Loompah's are on strike at the chocolate factory', meaning one is suffering from constipation. The other, 'to eat sushi off the barber shop floor.' Ask your dad if you don't get that one.
(Sun 1st Feb 2004, 17:29, More)