» "Needless to say, I had the last laugh"

It all started last night...
...when I showed up for a meeting, and was unceremoniously laid off by the company that up until now had provided my main source of income. I'm a self employed entertainer, and in the current economical climate times are tough for everyone, but this isn't (as far as I know) a financial decision, just a "you're not right for our venues" issue. It seems strange to me, as they have kept me on for nearly 5 years, and this is the first I knew that things weren't right. No word of complaint from the management, takings are continuing to rise, and the customers seem to be enjoying themselves.

However, it appears that at least one member of the management team is either very stupid, or just vindictive... my phone has been ringing constantly all week with calls from concerned friends, customers and even other venues offering me work, all of whom had heard about my loss several days before me. It seems that the venue manager told a customer last weekend, not realising that her grand-daughter's father is the brother of my God Daughter's uncle! As there is no smoke without fire (even in this poor excuse for a town where the main hobby seems to be starting nasty rumours) I had already provisionally accepted a new job in a better venue for slightly more money before I had the meeting last night, and haven't told my current (but soon to be ex) employers that I knew what was coming, or that I had new work lined up.

Even more surprising is that I have been given two weeks notice. That's two weeks of work that they quite honestly didn't have to give me, and two weeks of opportunities to network with the customers, and if I wanted to, screw them over - either by not turning up, or worse still having a full rant over the microphone. If I was them, I would be very scared about what could happen... and at least make sure that there is someone standing by to cover me. And I'm sure that this will already be in place... and no doubt the doorstaff will have had their instructions too.

But I'm going to have the last laugh next Saturday, my final night, by doing absolutely nothing to harm their business & not telling the management what I really think of them despite them stabbing me in the back... two weekends of seeing them sweat and twitch, wondering what is going to happen is good enough revenge for me... and I will leave with my head held high like the true pro that I am!
(Fri 4th Feb 2011, 15:12, More)

» Famous people I hate

Alan Price - the cost of fame?
Many years ago, whilst in the darkest depths of Oldham studying Theatre Lighting, I had the pleasure of escaping for a whole month from the dreadful mill town, under the guise of "Work Experience". Taking the opportunity by the balls I ran as far away as possible to a small provincial, council run venue, where flat caps, pigeon fancying and ferrets had not been heard of, and had a great time. That is until the third week of my stay. Alan Price, Keyboardist from the Animals (famous for such great tracks as House of the Rising Sun) was on a comeback tour, and was due to visit this lowly playhouse that I had become fond of (anything was preferential to returning back "Oop North"). Many other acts had remarked on Mr. Price and his reputation, having worked in other similar venues straight after him on their respective travels, and said that he was hell to work with. I was not to be put off, and when asked if I fancied running the lights for his concert on my own, I felt on cloud nine - this was to be one of my first ever Pro Concert Lighting jobs, and to work with such a top name was a privilege. How was I to know that the resident Techie, my mentor, was taking the opportunity of having a niave student to keep well out the way of what was going to be an extremely tough night?

The big night arrives, and with it, so does Alan's roadies, and all the gear. But no sign of the headline act himself. His (probably very underpaid) minions set everything up, and I do the same in the lighting box with my tube of Pringles and bottle of Irn Bru... when suddenly from out of the darkness of the wings, and out onto the stage, sweeps the King of Keys, Alan Price... with the opening lines that will remain with me for a long time - "That Keyboard is set at the wrong height, how the F@&£ am I supposed to play that?!?" and storms of stage left, leaving the poor roadies to guess if it was too high or too low. (yes, I know they should know what height to set up the Star's keyboard, but a small amount of politeness normally brings respect... something that I doubt his entouurage had much of for him).

Ten minutes later sees me stood backstage after being summoned to see the man who had already gone down a little in my estimation. He storms up to me (probably still in a foul mood) and exclaims "Your the lighting guy?" (Note no introduction... he probably hasn't got time to remember my name after all) "Just remember, It's MY name on the poster and it's ME they've come to see, so I don't care what you do with the lighting tonight, but as I am the Star of the Show - THERE WILL ALWAYS BE A LIGHT ON ME!" I nod and think 'what an arrogant little tool' as he continues - "Even if you go to blackout".

Well they taught us many things in my first 18 months at college, including the definition of a blackout, but sadly I must have missed the part of the course that instructed us how to talk to jumped up Muso's that hadn't had a hit outside of Greece for two decades, so now being devoid of any feeling of awe towards this organ-ist I replied, "Well, I don't know where you studied Stage Lighting, but it would be extremely difficult to go to Blackout if there is still a light on you... once you've decided which it is, I'll be in the lighting box" and walked off leaving him looking like Simon Smith's pet, and a couple of his roadies grinning like Cheshire cats.

I never did find out what he preferred, and have never listened to H-o-t-R-S since.

Apologies for length, but it's shorter than his concert...which should have been cut short at the first note.

Be kind to me I'm a newbie (after lurking and laughing for about 12 months)
(Thu 11th Feb 2010, 8:39, More)