b3ta.com user lilben81
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» Wanking Disasters Part II

It all began with my first proper girlfriend
We'd met up on a Sunday and hung around the shopping centre for a bit. After some persuasion, I'd managed to convince her to wank me off in the slightly hidden spot behind Barclays bank.

So lil lil ben is out and, before starting, she tells me not to cum on her.
No problem, I think, I'm 16* and have managed to get a good few years of practice in and am pretty apt at finishing myself off.

However I had failed to take in to account that her wanking technique wasn't quote as honed as mine. I think she'd picked up tips off farming programs as it was suspiciously similar to the way they milk cows.

Some 45 minutes later, 30 of that being on the brink, I'm finally at the vinegar strokes. Sod this, I think, it's taken so bloody long I'm just going to cum. So cum I did.

Funnily enough, I lose interest in hanging around her and decide to head off home without even a thought to where my man juice went.

I got home, hung my coat up and exchanged pleasantries and had a chat with my parents before heading in to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

Then I noticed it.

My dark red top had a huge white smear that from my right shoulder to my left hip that could only be cum.
Yep, I'd spent a good 5 minutes chatting to my parents with a massive cum stain on my jumper.

Amazingly, they've never mentioned it.

*late I know
(Thu 17th Feb 2011, 22:17, More)

» House Guests

No bodily fluids involved
When I was about 8 I was invited round to a mates place for dinner. All was fine until pudding arrived.
In all her wisedom, the mate's mum had decided to serve some ice cream in very expensive crystal glass bowls.

Of course, within a minute of her warning us to be careful as they were crystal glass and expensive, I'd managed to knock mine off the table and on to the floor completely shattering it.

I was mates with the guy up until secondary school so any time I visited afterwards, I was given a special brightly coloured plastic bowl with a comment about the incident from his mum.
(Fri 7th Jan 2011, 11:09, More)

» It's Not What It Looks Like!

Walking around Toys R Us
on my own then leaving without buying anything.* You could see people thinking "Lone 30 year old man in Toys R Us.....he must be a peado"

*They didn't have the Thomas the Tank Engine train my nephew wanted which meant more uncomfortable trips to other toy shops.
(Wed 15th Dec 2010, 8:32, More)

» Ouch!

A cyst on the nad tubes and pretty much any sort of movement.

A kneecap that moved in the wrong direction and having to walk up to two flights of very step 100 year old stairs every day.

Length ? Short and panicked as it's my first time
(Wed 4th Aug 2010, 22:29, More)