b3ta.com user sarcastic fringehead
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» Celebrity Encounters III

When I was little I wrote to Jim'll Fix It, asking to put on a blindfold & wank off an old perv in a track suit.
When I watched the show, it turned out I'd been milking a cow instead. Gutted!
(Fri 6th Dec 2013, 12:26, More)

» Creepy!

(Mon 11th Apr 2011, 16:08, More)

» Bad gigs

I worked as stage crew, mainly in Yorkshire, '89 - '93
A few lows:
Telling the guy repacking the Happy Mondays' truck he'd have the drum riser as soon as his colleague had finished chopping out massive drugs on it. Same guy who told everyone they were "twisting his melon"... all day. No, it wasn't Shaun, but it might have been his cousuncle.
Waiting for a runner to get back from finding an oxygen cylinder for Gary Glitter - in Bradford.
Two of us repainted the dressing rooms & back wall of the stage prior to the Sisters of Mercy playing Leeds Poly in '91. Black & white throughout, obviously. Next artistes to grace that acoustically-challenging auditorium were Walthamstow's finest, East 17, who graffitied the dressing room to fuck. No-one tried to auction any of it.
Turning up knackered from last night's gig to work for Suzanne Vega. How hard can a few guitars & a stool be? 2 artics & an 8-piece band later we were wishing her cuntboils.
Level 42's crew insisting the mixing desk (the biggest we had ever seen) needed to be on the balcony of Leeds uni's refectory. When we saw that the bass-slapping twat had more instruments on the side of the stage than songs we knew why. It wouldn't go in the lift, even after we took off all the handles and the things what held the candles. So up the stairs it went. The tour manager helped, by following us up the stairs telling us how much it cost.
Unloading & reloading all of Fish's steel, post-apocalyptic back-drop, of which we used 20%, at a guess. One of the road-crew said they'd used the whole set once on the entire tour.
Jimmy Savile at Roundhay Park, about 8 am. We were due to work for Genesis, several of us wearing t-shirts from a recent gig at the uni (They're free & they're clean! Jane's Addiction, I think). The Kappa kiddy-fiddler thought our apparent uniform amusing and blethered on before peddling off.
The female fans who think they can entice you to let them back-stage. Ageing hair-metal & Hawkwind fans were the most shudderingly horrific. She had what looked like one big dreadlock in a snood.
The Chili Peppers crew complaining the stage was too wet for the band to enjoy themselves, due to the sweat dripping from the ceiling.
A few high-notes:
4 of us carrying - barely - Motorhead's bar-in-a-flight-case up a particularly tight staircase. It held 30 spirit bottles plus accompaniments.
The massive Icelandic roadie who annexed all the bootleg shirts from a couple of touts & redistributed them. My first gig.
Putting on Asylum nights around Leeds for the first couple of years.
Sunrise over Roundhay Park after Genesis, whilst taking down the speaker scaffold. Hadn't realised how high up we were until then. Last one I ever did.
TL; DR Man reminisces about wasted youth.
(Wed 31st Jul 2013, 1:12, More)

» Bad gigs

I once saw a tribute act called Enter Shibari
They were pretty ropey.
(Fri 26th Jul 2013, 16:08, More)

» The Best / Worst thing I've ever eaten

My favourite thing to eat in the world
is billy goats.
What do you mean, 'too late'?
(Thu 26th May 2011, 14:26, More)
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