» Prejudice

I don't think dulux do that colour?
Whilst looking at doors for my gran, she explained to the shop assistant that she wanted one in the colour 'N**ger Brown'

She went for 'Velvet truffle' instead.
(Thu 1st Apr 2010, 14:55, More)

» Lies that got out of control

Grandma's hands
A while back I was with a young lady who I had only been aquatinted with for a few boozy hours and she was in the process of getting my old german soldier goose-stepping good and proper, and, just as the one-eyed postman was about to deliver his parcel, a song came on the stereo,

It was bill withers 'grandma's hands'

I have lied to my self for a long time 'I did not cum whilst receiving a hand job whilst thinking about my Gran's hands doing it'

oh the shame, I could not wash enough, thoughts cannot be unthought,


which is why I now perform coitus blindfolded and in complete silence......
(Wed 18th Aug 2010, 23:45, More)

» Beautiful Moments, Part Two

Flying through space with shoes on
So a few moons back, a friend and I decided eat some fungi that he had bought from an acquaintance of his, needless to say we were tripping balls, and as we ventured out into the garden to have a quick midnight spliff we lay on the grass looking at the stars,

at that moment i could feel myself on the face of the planet blasting through space and heading towards the stars, it felt as though i was being pushed back into the grass by the sheer force of it
He simply said 'If you think about it, we're all just monkeys with shoes on a rock floating through space,
I have never been so high
I actually cried.

and they say drugs are bad for you! I take drugs and I was captain of a spaceship the size of a planet!
(Wed 11th Aug 2010, 18:25, More)