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» Dad stories

My Dad is a very serious sort
and is well known for being a grumpy auld git. Contrary to this however he is unfortunately afflicted with a very gay wave. 2 actually. The wiggly fingers is his favourite but he is also prone to doing the talking bird from time to time. How silly he looks.
(Fri 26th Nov 2010, 0:55, More)

» Weird Rituals

Only semi fits the topic but.....
In my second year of university I shared a flat with 6 other young delinquents, each one as odd as the other. Our flat was eternally freezing and in the winter months you could see your breath indoors. This made getting out of bed in the morning even more daunting than usual and as we had all usually had a feed of drink the evening before it was common to awaken with a bladder fit to burst, exacerbating the problem.

One of the other lads (who we shall call Alan Smithson for the purposes of this piece) had come up with a most resourceful and innovative way to tackle this most difficult of conundrums. He would keep an empty two litre bottle under his bed and on these fateful mornings he would take it into his bed, being careful to let as little heat out from under the two duvets as possible, and empty himself into the bottle.

The rest of us were aware of his actions as there had been a number of festering piss filled bottles spotted under his bed during the course of the year. However, one morning upon finding that his bacon and eggs had been eaten, one of the other lads automatically (and correctly) assumed it had been Alan. He made for the pishy bastard's room, roaring half drunken obscenities at him and ripped the covers back off a sleeping Alan to reveal his half naked body, startled and clinging desperately to a freshly pissed in, lukewarm bottle of his (assumedly) own urine.

He was more than happy to admit to having practiced this regularly and requested that we leave his room, also claiming that the piss smelt like bacon.

Length? Not sure but girth would make getting in the bottle difficult.
(Sat 17th Dec 2011, 14:12, More)

» Beautiful Moments, Part Two

Blur doing Tender
at glastonbury 2009 on the Sunday night of the festival

what there's no real story, just that

length? only a wee one
(Sat 7th Aug 2010, 2:23, More)