b3ta.com user Daytona Dude
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» On the stage

Big Al Fart
I Was with the solent theatre compnay in the late 80's and we did a variety show at the Kings Theatre Portsmouth. We did a few numbers from the show Al Capone Musical "Big Al" soon as the curtain went up we were supposed to break in to song, looking hard as fcuk in our 30's gangster suits. Just as the curtain rose to a packed house, Al Capone did the biggest fart imagineable, and we all attempted to sing the song "Chicago Citty Illinois" through stupid childish giggles.
(Fri 2nd Dec 2005, 15:44, More)

» I was drunk when I bought this

I was drunk and bought...
..... a ruddy stupid teddy bear which sang Elvis Presleys 'Teddy Bear', the next day I threw it on to a dual carriageway coz it wouldn't shut up....
(Fri 10th Jun 2005, 14:19, More)

» Pure Ignorance

Stupid Rednecks
I lived in Florida for a bit, and was discussing where I came from in England with a toothless yokul at a truckstop. He asked if I lived near the desert in England. Even better was when I said I now lived in Daytona florida, he replied "My folks come from Florida, they live in Tampax" (Tampa)jeeeezuss.
(Tue 11th Jan 2005, 8:36, More)

» Premonitions

There were two loud bangs!
I was driving in to Manchester early one morning, I was daydreaming and I made the sound of a large crash with my mouth, followed by another a few seconds later, I snapped out of the daydream the moment I made the seond "crash" sound with my mouth, and thought nothing of it. Later that day, passing the same point in the road in the opposite direction, I made the same two irrelivant crashing noises again with my mouth. Soon after I switched the radio on to hear that the twin towers had been hit at the exact time I was on that road. I was a bit freaked out, and keen to get home, as it was also my birthday.
(Fri 19th Nov 2004, 14:26, More)

» Dad Jokes

Dad Jokes
When I've been in the car with my dad, and we see a woman walking up ahead, as we pass he'd always say "ahh, she was good from far, but she's far from good"............classic.
(Thu 11th Dec 2003, 14:51, More)
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