b3ta.com user AntonSporz
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Draft-dodging Anton fled Russia in order to avoid National Service in a permafrost processing plant, and now depilates sailors in a back room in Ghent by day, by night roaming the streets, masquerading as a gruesome mockery of the town's mayor. He achieved fleeting fame in 2001 when he accurately predicted the WTC disaster a full week before it happened after two sparrows flew into his legs, but he was hushed-up by big men and his story was quickly forgotten. Anton's hobbies include damaging Teflon pans, flame throwing, and organising wild west style bar-room brawls for the aged. He also enjoys eating muffins and saying, "This is it".

P.S. www.grandsonics.com

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» My Worst Vomit

A single bean
Not booze related, but still a great puke:

School Assembly, early morning. I must have been about 5 or 6, and had been fortified for the day ahead by my loving mother who had fed me beans on toast for breakfast. Delicious!

Unfortunately, something went wrong with my body. I started to feel more and more dizzy and hot, and felt the puke coming... and desperately tried to hold it in. I almost succeeded!

I choked back 99.5% of the first big heave, but was unable to prevent a solitary bean from exiting my mouth and landing on the floor in front of the boy sat cross-legged to my right.

"What's that?" he asked

"I dunno," I nonchalantly replied.

5 seconds later, the rest of the beans followed their intrepid pioneer brother in a veritable tomato-based fountain of vomit.

The teachers did their best to comfort me, but I was mortified. My wife thinks this story is hilarious.
(Fri 20th Aug 2004, 9:02, More)

» Pet Names

My first goldfish
was called Whizz Fish Swimmy. I still think it's a great name for a fish.
(Wed 25th Feb 2004, 13:56, More)

» I just don't get it

I understand everything
But my mum does not. She signs off emails with 'LOL' thinking it stands for 'lots of love'. I enjoy the image of her cackling with delight as she hits send too much to correct her.
(Thu 31st Mar 2005, 13:53, More)

» Things you've done when you've had no money.

Festival fence jump
A pal and I waltzed into a music festival by slipping round the back of a catering tent into the perimeter, then wandering around looking for a way into the main fence. Picked up a couple of half-filled bin bags, pretended to be looking for litter and just strolled past about 4 security guards into a tent, hopped over the crowd barrier and in. Genius.
(Fri 8th Oct 2004, 15:17, More)

» Fancy Dress

I believe the Universe is shaped like a bra
We had a Space Party, and I dressed up as Stephen Hawking by sticking two big cardboard wheels onto a folding chair, combing my hair badly and pretending I had a floppy neck. One wheel had "HawKing" written on it and the other one said "Tha Professor". I even had a computer screen made out of cardboard.

I also tried to make a voice synth, but the tracks were too short and wouldn't burn onto a CD properly.
(Thu 12th Jan 2006, 21:25, More)
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