b3ta.com user Cheeselog
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» What nonsense did you believe in as a kid?

I used to think that oral sex meant just talking about it.

Ironically, now that I've been married for several years, the closest I get to oral sex IS just talking about it. *sigh*
(Fri 20th Jan 2012, 13:37, More)

» Books

A very quick shortlist
One flew over the cuckoo's nest by Ken Kesey.
Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
A passage to India by E M Forster
Pride and prejudice by Jane Austin
Small gods by Terry Pratchett

Oh, and since it doesn't say fiction only...

On the origin of species by Charles Darwin
From knowledge to wisdom by Nicholas Maxwell
The blind watchmaker by Richard Dawkins
Chimpanzee politics by Frans de Waal
Halliwell's film guide (when it was still written by Leslie Halliwell and before it went shit).
(Fri 6th Jan 2012, 13:55, More)

» Racist grandparents

Oh god, where to begin...
Granny 1 (now departed): [Said of a black nurse who was looking after her in hospital] It's clever how she's able to eat with those big lips without any food falling out.

Granny 2 (also departed) [Said of blacks, Asians, Chinese probably, martians, etc.] They breed more than we do, it's a known fact.

Granny 2 [When I pointed out that she was one of seven siblings] That's NOT the same at all!

My mother [Having discovered that a grandparent (?) on my father's side had put 'Tinker' as his profession on an old census form. I.e. a tinsmith, who repairs metal utensils] So you're descended from an Irishman. [Me: Er, no, not an Irish traveller, surely it means...] Mother: Still, it could have been worse; at least he wasn't Turkish! [Me: ??!!??]

Also numerous references to 'Chinamen', 'our coloured cousins' but for some bizarre reason any male Asian is referred to as 'an Indian gentlemen'.

It is a wonder I'm not a card carrying member of the BNP. Probably too left wing for my grandparents...
(Thu 27th Oct 2011, 15:08, More)

» Heroes and villains of 2011

So many candidates, but...

My wife, for giving up her well-paid job to look after our twins and having to deal with an unenviable barrage of fighting, screaming, whining and moaning on a daily basis. I don’t know why I do it, but I shall try to calm down in 2012. Can’t be easy for her, what with the twins needing her attention as well.


Lady luck, for failing to cause my eurolottery numbers to come up, thus allowing me to give up my job and live the life of luxury that the world so clearly owes me, the bastard!

Or perhaps Liam Fox. Fucking twat.
(Tue 3rd Jan 2012, 14:37, More)

» Weird Rituals

BBC, Daily Mail, Beta
Every day, whilst having my lunch, I look at the same three websites in the same order: the BBC news, the Daily Mail (I know, I know, but the qotw did ask for weird rituals) and then B3ta. Cannot do it in another order or miss anything out. Trying to go to B3ta first, or looking at the DM without looking at the BBC first, does not feel right.

God...that's a weight of my mind.

Oh, and I also scrub my cock 99 times each morning, but looking at the DM website every day is more weird.
(Fri 16th Dec 2011, 14:04, More)
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