b3ta.com user Brambly Slag
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» Lies that got out of control

I have read
and agree to the terms and conditions.
(Wed 18th Aug 2010, 16:04, More)

» The B3TA Confessional

Dear Mr Popiness
If you truly believe that you are god's chosen representative on earth, and that he bothers himself with our tiny lives, and that he has the ability to fiddle with said tiny lives, then can't you save us all a lot of cost and trust him to protect you? I hear his help is meant to be free unlike the police who cost rather a lot of dosh.

My sin is a lack of faith.
(Fri 27th Aug 2010, 20:47, More)

» Ouch!

Me and my horse have an abusive relationship.
She's the abuser. I do my best to show her love while she does her best to find a variety of new ways to hurt me, I've tried calling the RSPCA on her but apparently it doesn't work like that. She's a hormonal, accident prone nightmare with skin like filo pastry and a very low pain threshold; her default setting is violence first, remorse later so quick reflexes are often vital to my continued survival.

The worst she's ever got me was after trying to complete a set of exercises suggested by an equine physio to help with lameness in her hind legs. It involved picking up her foot and tracing small circles in the air to help loosen her up and doing this was either going to make things better or worse. Well it made her worse and her default reaction to pain is quite understandably to lash out.

So that course of action was swiftly abandoned but I still needed to pick up her hind feet without having my face kicked clean off my skull. I needed to get close enough to let her know that I wasn't going to hurt her every time I touched her leg so I got a friend to hold up one of her front legs (while dodging her teeth) so that she couldn't pick up a back leg to kick with. Well that's the theory anyway. What actually happened was she was prepared to throw herself on the floor if it meant me ending up in pain as well. So 450kg of horse culminating in an iron shod hoof managed to jump on three legs onto my five toes, which smarted a little.

Then I was left with the dilemma of how to move her off my toes without getting kicked.
(Sat 31st Jul 2010, 20:23, More)

» World of Random

3ft, cross dressing,
Chinese midget, into bungee jumping, seeks similar.

I love lonely hearts ads, that one is by far the best I've ever found.
(Fri 22nd Apr 2011, 14:09, More)

» What was I thinking?

Didn't destroy the escape pod.
(Thu 23rd Sep 2010, 20:31, More)
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