b3ta.com user Galve,
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» Guilty Laughs

Gulls ahoy
Being a climbist I tend to frequent sea-cliffs with some regularity.
Not too long ago I was on Portland peninsula/island with my mate Geordie Dave, and were climbing routes right next to each other. Naturally it descended into a race, with a fair amount of 'Ooh, finding it hard? It is cause you're a bummer?' and other such eloquent delights being exchanged.

Dave had was higher up than I was, very nearly at the top, and was miming doing massive poos down onto me (I promise we are both grownups.) I was making a concerted effort to catch up and snatch my victory when I heard Dave shouting a lot and moving about rather more than I would expect for somebody attempting to travel in a straight line.

What I saw when I looked up was Dave being mauled by the most enormous and vicious-looking seagull. It looked like it was trying to take his face off to feed to its no doubt carnivorous young. A split second later he lost his grip on the rock and fell about eight feet, stopping just below me.
I was totally unable to move, hanging off the bolt in front of me and laughing till a little bit of wee came out.

He still won, the hard bastard, with bird shit on him and all.
(Fri 23rd Jul 2010, 11:24, More)

» Drugs

Some people think alcohol is a drug.
It's not a drug, it's a drink.
(Tue 21st Sep 2010, 10:55, More)