» Nights Out Gone Wrong

Sometimes its too easy to be spontaneous...
It all started on a friday night. My university flatmate Pete, (who for reasons of anonymity I have changed his name to Pete, instead of his real name: 'Peter') asked me if I wanted to join a protest in London the very next day. It being only a fiver and being my first proper protest I suprised myself by wilfully joining.
This is my story.


The coach ride was dull and cramped. Not being the shortest of students I suffered for 6 hours the drive from manchester to London.
When we got there we joined the main bulk of the march. Never before have I seen so many people in one place, the mood was positive and the atmosphere buzzing. My 5 friends and I followed the protest up until Picadilly Circus. We waited there and started taking some fairly decent pictures.

Then we saw the group of around 400-500 anarchists with black and red flags walking down the street heading straight for the police line. When they got close they charged and broke through. Jumping at the chance we followed the group through the police line before it had a chance to close. We then followed that group around London while they generally tarnished the protest's cause and we got some decent photos.

We trudged back to Sam's Dad's house after a very, very long day. Also missing our coach home. We sat on the sofa thoroughly exhausted and planning a nice sleep. This is when things changed. Sam's dad Ralph decided it was time for some bevvies to top the icing on what had been quite a nice day, and bought us a few in a pub. The pub closed and we decided, you know what? To hell with it! Lets see if there's another place open.
There was...

We drank

We danced

We smoked

We drank

Smoked

Danced

Smoked inside

Drank two doubles, each, again. Danced on tables.
Smoked, drank and danced at same time.
Decided it was a good idea to finish peoples drinks when they said they didn't want them.

~
Scene missing
~

Flat on face in a living room

~

In a bathroom trying an interesting way of cleaning the bath using secondhand just drunk vodka
~
Scene missing
~
Now picture this:
Waking up in a strangers bed, starkers, soaked in piss, head exploding/imploding with 2 of my friends laughing their heads off in the doorway. Slurred and painful enquiries with some effort gained me the knowledge that my trousers were practically soaked in my golden bladder lemonade along with my pants. And i'm in london. 200 miles away from my accomodation.
It didn't look hopeful.
I hate you, Pete.

Got them to buy the cheapest tracksuit bottoms in any shop then walked around london for 6 hours until the next coach back.

In terms of length, was only last weekend so not that long ago...
(Tue 29th Mar 2011, 5:04, More)

» Overheard secrets

Sixth form
Not as funny as others i've just read, but heres mine.

Way back in sixth form, I was in 'that' group, you know? The one that likes all the computer games and handheld gaming things... The socially awkward nerdy group.
It consisted of Joe, Daniel and me. We would always chill round each others houses, avoid girls and tirelessly play playstation or have nintendo battles.

Instead of, you know, outside...


Anyway, after my turn of having them round I found Daniel's phone, forgotten. Curious, and feeling up to no good, I had a look through his texts.
I found one between Daniel and Joe that said "Do you want to tell isnotmyPIN about us? or do you think he's better off not knowing?" and Joe replying "idk i dont want it weird". This piqued my interest but I found nothing else on his phone that could elaborate cause it ran out of battery and was mostly texts from his mum...
I still dont really know what it was about, I never broached the subject cause he would have been pissed off I looked on his phone.
It could really mean anything, maybe they were in a relationship with each other? Moving away? Doing drugs? In a cult?
Its probably something simple, but since we dont talk much after going to uni, you cant just bring it up in conversation.

I guess i'll never know.
(Sun 28th Aug 2011, 3:01, More)

» What was I thinking?

Once upon a time...
There was a little seaside town on the south coast, known for being the site of a certain english battle that occurred sometime back in 1066.
It has a slowly disintegrating pier which the council feels perfectly happy to tout as a tourist attraction but refuses to even touch it with money. Hardly any parking and park that has been commandeered in its entirety by seagulls. The best thing thats happened to it in years was that banksy came along and sprayed on one of the sea defence walls.
It goes by the name of Hastings. It is also completely surrounded by quite a few council estates.
By day it is relaxed, busy and occasionally you get someone coming up to you wanting you to sign up to a charity. However by some Jekyll and Hyde nature, the town turns ugly by night.
The crap nightclubs open and all manner of chavs come forth to spunk away their dole on sambuca, vodka and smirnoff ices.
Still it was better than nothing, and I lived there all my life. So there I found myself walking home at midnight having just said goodbye to a group of people and feeling completely drunk. I drag myself into super pizza whereapon I order myself a huge pizza. During this time a 60 year old guy gets angry that he had to wait 2 mins longer than what the guy said to him. He starts demanding his money back screaming about how he'll go to the press etc. I on the other hand in my drunken state start to share my negativity on his thoughts, (owing to that I had been working in a chinese takeaway and one thing that pisses me off is stupid drunk customers), he did not partake on my opinion that he was indeed a stupid cunt very well (for some reason). He then begin threatening to slit my throat open but grabbed his pizza and left.***
I finished my pizza after giving a statement to the police. I then went on my merry way back home with a level of new found drunk courage. The way I needed to walk took me through the town centre.
Whereapon I found myself walking past two topless chavs mugging some kids on a bench.
For some reason I stood behind the muggers and tried to make gestures that it was going to be ok to the people on the bench. What the fuck was I thinking??? I made eye contact with one of the muggers. Bad move. They both rounded on me asking what I was looking at. I needed to think my way out of this one fast.

Option 1 - Say I was just walking past.
Option 2 - Say I recognised one of them from the secondary school I used to go to (I did, year below) And came to say 'hi'.
Option 3 - Say I was never looking at them and was in fact standing still watching a nearby seagull.

Guess which one I chose.
Yep. I even pointed out the seagull in question.
At which point I noticed they both had weapons. One had a broken bottle, the other had wrapped something around his hands to make a garrot wire.
At which point they decided to punch, kick and headbutt me to the railings by costa. Out of sheer luck I managed to sucker punch one right in the face. They backed off for one second, then regained the upper hand. Seconds from being bottled by a chav remembering he has a bottle in his hand, a homeless guys come along and shouts the chavs away.
Thank you, again.
After this they walk off. By some miracle (i'm guessing alcohol) I was still standing and now had a swollen left eye and a badly bruised hand from punching randomly back.
I walked over to make sure the kids were ok on the bench.

***- Still a bit fuzzy on how this one played out, but I know I wasn't stabbed and got out ok.

[This was also the last night I saw one of my friends 'Joey' as she was part of the same group I was with. She died 8 hours after this all happened from a brain haemorrhage. :( ..]
(Wed 29th Sep 2010, 3:16, More)

» What was I thinking?

Fat girl
Eesh. Didn't even have beer goggles on. Just thought fuck it, i'm sure she can lose some weight and she will look fab.
She didn't and after a days worth of crazy needy msn convos, gently dumped her. Rip the plaster off quick and all that.

Sure you can say "beauty is on the inside" and "its the personality" but in all honesty she had serious issues. And she was ugly on the inside.
(Mon 27th Sep 2010, 5:20, More)

» First World Problems

I wasn't 1st.
I'm worthless, not even in the first 3.
*cuts wrists*
(Thu 1st Mar 2012, 12:14, More)